November closing

This month started with a death and ended with a death... death is so many things, you can be alive and experience a death within your own self. My son I think he welcomes death but is just aftaid to do it, is that a horrid thing to write...yes, and it is even a more horrid thought, but after some of the communications we have had over the past couple of weeks I feel that...he says no, he is going to make it, and i pray for him that he can, i pray for him to have strenght because it is going to require a tremendous amount of strength... his patterns are so long and grooved within his life...he needs to change them and i dont know if he can. All I can do is pray. Let go let God for the rest of his life. There is nothing more I can do.
Sick to my stomach still... and gained 2 lbs, how is it possible. Really going back on the carrot, yogurt, salad diet...no choice. When I am stressed I gain weight from thinking, ridiculous.
Back to the horrid job, with my horrid boss..ugh.
and then onwards thinking about christmas and looking for a bit of fun.
alleulia is that how u spell it.