Wednesday, July 13, 2011
wednesday, not my hump day. blah
Tired before I even begin my day. Dianna is exhausted too...little boy keeping her going. Being a new Mom is tough. I try to give her space, and remain consistent in helping and coaching her. She is ok and learning. It is wonderful to watch and brings back many memories that I’ve forgotten. Like how a newborn can wear you out and you feel like all you do is feed the child. Like how hard it is sometimes to realize that you might not be the one who can sooth the infant because the infant looks at you like food. Like how when you are upset your infant will be upset. Memories… no wonder I am exhausted.
Hot hot hot…it is supposed to get better after today. I don’t mind the heat so much but heat and no sleep = grouch.
Hot hot hot…it is supposed to get better after today. I don’t mind the heat so much but heat and no sleep = grouch.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
July 12
Red Soxs remain in first by a nose... How I love their fight. Mike Vrabel is retiring ...to go on to coaching, nice Mike. Wish you the best of luck... like you know me or I know you...
Yesterday was a complete disaster--- work was --- family just too much...
But my carriers they got my number and called me...now I have theirs, and I've snuck them into my contacts....Hey they called me first.
Not really interested in going in today but I will give it my best shot.... going quickly to shower and off I will go and I will get out of there asap. The weather is much too nice to spend it working at the job…
Worked on the garden late last night...hahah..something about working outside at night peaceful and although warm, not stifling, not sweating, not sun drenched, sun burnt, or dehydrated -- well maybe a little bit.
but I will get to look at the garden this morning in semi-light and get home early enough in the day to make it right. did not realize that I needed so much mulch.
This afternoon will work on the raised garden and making a sign for it in memory of Maria's Mom. She should like that...at least I hope.
Dianna went to the dentist-- something went wrong with her gums, Steph said the same thing happened to her. I really do forget about stuff…. I am just worried about DD... And that little Baby Alastair is just too cute. Barely got to see him yesterday, today I hope I get to see him more.
In the Garden
Small plot of land, where a few could be buried
With Lilacs in the spring
And Starlights in the morning light
And Morning Glories too
Day Lilies and Heather
And others, that I need to look up their names…
Will this always be true?
You give me so much pleasure when I walk out my door
Or sit on my steps
Or just think about you, pretty picture in my head
Stones set to cross the line
Johnny, And Ricky stepping from
Stone to stone, looking beneath the lilies for statues
Unknown, discovering in a little plot
Joy, glee, and serenity
Yesterday was a complete disaster--- work was --- family just too much...
But my carriers they got my number and called me...now I have theirs, and I've snuck them into my contacts....Hey they called me first.
Not really interested in going in today but I will give it my best shot.... going quickly to shower and off I will go and I will get out of there asap. The weather is much too nice to spend it working at the job…
Worked on the garden late last night...hahah..something about working outside at night peaceful and although warm, not stifling, not sweating, not sun drenched, sun burnt, or dehydrated -- well maybe a little bit.
but I will get to look at the garden this morning in semi-light and get home early enough in the day to make it right. did not realize that I needed so much mulch.
This afternoon will work on the raised garden and making a sign for it in memory of Maria's Mom. She should like that...at least I hope.
Dianna went to the dentist-- something went wrong with her gums, Steph said the same thing happened to her. I really do forget about stuff…. I am just worried about DD... And that little Baby Alastair is just too cute. Barely got to see him yesterday, today I hope I get to see him more.
In the Garden
Small plot of land, where a few could be buried
With Lilacs in the spring
And Starlights in the morning light
And Morning Glories too
Day Lilies and Heather
And others, that I need to look up their names…
Will this always be true?
You give me so much pleasure when I walk out my door
Or sit on my steps
Or just think about you, pretty picture in my head
Stones set to cross the line
Johnny, And Ricky stepping from
Stone to stone, looking beneath the lilies for statues
Unknown, discovering in a little plot
Joy, glee, and serenity
Monday, July 11, 2011
weekend...oh really
Love
What can I say of love
Love is bare to me
You can see love
Love that cannot be seen can’t possibly be real
Show me your love then I may believe
Doubt
There is doubt in the world
Doubt in the work
Having one day off for a weekend is not enough. The two day break would be much more conducive to the enjoyment of life, my life, my family life, my relaxation, my recreation, the planning of such and the procuring of such etc.
Having this only one day off... I was busy since Saturday when I got off of work, went to home depot twice, worked on my garden, planted pots, captured the broken down gray granny and had her brought to Quincy... It was all too much. I best not spend too much time here because I could ramble on about the "weekend" -- the one day which really is a weekbinner: week beginner.
Life is just going by way too fast and I have no control over my own time and that is what I would like to change but I don’t see it happening.
The tickets came in for "Death Takes A Holiday” I love that a slip was included inviting the viewers to stay for a discussion with the performers. Nice.
Also, Peter Pan for the fall is in the line up--- Sept. the baby shower and I am sure another one is coming...Three new babies this year. How exciting! Oh well off to the grind
What can I say of love
Love is bare to me
You can see love
Love that cannot be seen can’t possibly be real
Show me your love then I may believe
Doubt
There is doubt in the world
Doubt in the work
Having one day off for a weekend is not enough. The two day break would be much more conducive to the enjoyment of life, my life, my family life, my relaxation, my recreation, the planning of such and the procuring of such etc.
Having this only one day off... I was busy since Saturday when I got off of work, went to home depot twice, worked on my garden, planted pots, captured the broken down gray granny and had her brought to Quincy... It was all too much. I best not spend too much time here because I could ramble on about the "weekend" -- the one day which really is a weekbinner: week beginner.
Life is just going by way too fast and I have no control over my own time and that is what I would like to change but I don’t see it happening.
The tickets came in for "Death Takes A Holiday” I love that a slip was included inviting the viewers to stay for a discussion with the performers. Nice.
Also, Peter Pan for the fall is in the line up--- Sept. the baby shower and I am sure another one is coming...Three new babies this year. How exciting! Oh well off to the grind
Sunday, July 10, 2011
worried about DD
slow grade temp then fever and not feeling well
this is very upsetting....
I pray she feels better
if not she is going to the drs tomorrow.
this is very upsetting....
I pray she feels better
if not she is going to the drs tomorrow.
Breakdown
The gray granny did it again. This time she lost her catalytic converter just before going over the tobin bridge. Thank Gid she did it before getting on the highway or that could have been the end of her. She certainly knows when to pull out all the stops!
Poppy
I just love David Ortiz...
I know if I post from my phone I cannot edit..
I don't particualurly like that but flawed I am so let it ride
This morning I have no glasses on... Thinking of having a breakfast at the
beach and i need tickets to a sox's
I know if I post from my phone I cannot edit..
I don't particualurly like that but flawed I am so let it ride
This morning I have no glasses on... Thinking of having a breakfast at the
beach and i need tickets to a sox's
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Early morning is for old cars
Early morning is for old cars
Age likes the sun the dawn the crisp air. The quiet with out kids or teens or youth gone home to bed
Age likes the sun the dawn the crisp air. The quiet with out kids or teens or youth gone home to bed
J
Dark Morning
The air is moist and cooler but not calm
dark day with cloudy sky white gray and
even darker as if you're in the basement
come out sun
come out and play
even though the earth likes these cooling days
so much to do
the garden waits
for me to till and
plant and create...
can't so much with the rain
it will be okay.
waiting for my picture of Alastair...
he makes my day!
dark day with cloudy sky white gray and
even darker as if you're in the basement
come out sun
come out and play
even though the earth likes these cooling days
so much to do
the garden waits
for me to till and
plant and create...
can't so much with the rain
it will be okay.
waiting for my picture of Alastair...
he makes my day!
Friday, July 08, 2011
Just stuff
Ultrasound clear!
Mom' s appt rescheduled July 29. No good.
Alastair weighs 7 lbs 8 oz
Going to Peter Pan Oct 21. On the round on city hall plaza!
Mom' s appt rescheduled July 29. No good.
Alastair weighs 7 lbs 8 oz
Going to Peter Pan Oct 21. On the round on city hall plaza!
Friday
I love Fridays even though I work Saturdays. It is my favorite day of the week.. there is something special about Fridays, the tone... the acceptance the knowing that the next day is Saturday which should be a play day, but... it never is.
One week til nyc... 4 of us... too funny, Steph and Maria are interested but then they said it is a ladies trip...old ladies...hahaha I laughed and they knew it. We are planning a big trip to see Peter Pan with all the kids in the fall..that will be a great night out. For now we will journey onward.
Woke up to find Maria and Mikey in Ricky's room. Steph and Johnny on the Futon in the TV room...Don't know what is going to happen with M...breaking up with her beau. She has had such and extremely difficult year with the loss of her grandmother and her mother...and now this. Does she love him yes, but problems in the the intimacy department... it is better that she makes this decision even though it is difficult...it is better that if someone really loves you and you can not love that person back the same way that you let that person go and try to find someone else...it is better not to marry that person ... no matter how difficult it is.... so many people find them selves in situations where they are so unhappy because they choose to marry and then they get stuck...i tell my mikey who is so worried that he wont find someone that if there is someone for him to be patient because he doesnt want to just be with someone to cure the loneliness...that is a mistake...
of course I have my little Alastair...who is just a sweet baby and he is officially two weeks old now ..as of 10:55 last night.
everything is going ok...i wonder how Heather is making out at her new job?
Plants are getting planted and ready to work the yard this weekend...rock on
One week til nyc... 4 of us... too funny, Steph and Maria are interested but then they said it is a ladies trip...old ladies...hahaha I laughed and they knew it. We are planning a big trip to see Peter Pan with all the kids in the fall..that will be a great night out. For now we will journey onward.
Woke up to find Maria and Mikey in Ricky's room. Steph and Johnny on the Futon in the TV room...Don't know what is going to happen with M...breaking up with her beau. She has had such and extremely difficult year with the loss of her grandmother and her mother...and now this. Does she love him yes, but problems in the the intimacy department... it is better that she makes this decision even though it is difficult...it is better that if someone really loves you and you can not love that person back the same way that you let that person go and try to find someone else...it is better not to marry that person ... no matter how difficult it is.... so many people find them selves in situations where they are so unhappy because they choose to marry and then they get stuck...i tell my mikey who is so worried that he wont find someone that if there is someone for him to be patient because he doesnt want to just be with someone to cure the loneliness...that is a mistake...
of course I have my little Alastair...who is just a sweet baby and he is officially two weeks old now ..as of 10:55 last night.
everything is going ok...i wonder how Heather is making out at her new job?
Plants are getting planted and ready to work the yard this weekend...rock on
Thursday, July 07, 2011
email posts gone bad etc
tried the email post 2x this morning...not working ..will try again later...
the Sox's are .5 out of first...not bad i can live with that...they just need to keep it kicking for now. How it got to be July 7th I do not know..but it is here and so much has happened... and is happening... have to get a strategic plan set up for the fall -- It just seems crazy how quickly things change and how much I learned... being at a c-section can open one's eyes and mind--- and spending 50 consecutive hours with your daughter as she is going through the laboring process can teach you alot about yourself...
the sacrifices you make are sometime the best things you can do for your life and your loved ones.
just closing your mouth sometimes is also a good thing to learn...
take in that quiet and reflect
somethings just are not worth it
but then there are the other things that are...so speak up for them...but think about it first.
I had a long discussion with my Mom last night about things that are important and things that are not...
my kids happiness and well-fare is important but not at the expense of my
husband and myself...
all other things as in material "things" are not really important to me as long as I have a clean house and can do the things I like... ran into Leslie from Dot Art... she wants me to go by her place for wine or tea...I'll do the Tea...and make it soon. She is not well
the Sox's are .5 out of first...not bad i can live with that...they just need to keep it kicking for now. How it got to be July 7th I do not know..but it is here and so much has happened... and is happening... have to get a strategic plan set up for the fall -- It just seems crazy how quickly things change and how much I learned... being at a c-section can open one's eyes and mind--- and spending 50 consecutive hours with your daughter as she is going through the laboring process can teach you alot about yourself...
the sacrifices you make are sometime the best things you can do for your life and your loved ones.
just closing your mouth sometimes is also a good thing to learn...
take in that quiet and reflect
somethings just are not worth it
but then there are the other things that are...so speak up for them...but think about it first.
I had a long discussion with my Mom last night about things that are important and things that are not...
my kids happiness and well-fare is important but not at the expense of my
husband and myself...
all other things as in material "things" are not really important to me as long as I have a clean house and can do the things I like... ran into Leslie from Dot Art... she wants me to go by her place for wine or tea...I'll do the Tea...and make it soon. She is not well
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
July 7th
Have not heard the details about my cousins wake, funeral, cremations etc... very disturbing to say the least..
suffocating...
it is not suffocating to care or to be honest
it is not suffocating to take that step
it is suffocating to think that my friendship is all too much
all too emcompassing...
it is sickening to think that one can give ones heart and soul and it can be stepped on like a bug. it makes one close up and wither like a flower and not want to give anymore
suffocating...
it is not suffocating to care or to be honest
it is not suffocating to take that step
it is suffocating to think that my friendship is all too much
all too emcompassing...
it is sickening to think that one can give ones heart and soul and it can be stepped on like a bug. it makes one close up and wither like a flower and not want to give anymore
sleep
Trouble is I can't sleep although my eyes are droopy... room too cold...house too hot, body too tired...
everyone is up in arms about the Casey Anthony trial... I dont even know what to think. I am sickened that they cannot determine what happened to that little girl.
I am sickened that they say she was drowned and then the family tried to cover it up.
I am sickened that people treat each other the way they do.
Im sad about my cousin dying. Worry about my uncle and even move worried about my Mom...
And most of all I hate being scolded about the way I am... it just pisses me off.. arghhh... get back to life..
Looking forward to the trip with the girls but still worried about how it can get thinking i should have just planned to go alone because i can do what ever i want ... stop complaining j...just wander and go to sleep
everyone is up in arms about the Casey Anthony trial... I dont even know what to think. I am sickened that they cannot determine what happened to that little girl.
I am sickened that they say she was drowned and then the family tried to cover it up.
I am sickened that people treat each other the way they do.
Im sad about my cousin dying. Worry about my uncle and even move worried about my Mom...
And most of all I hate being scolded about the way I am... it just pisses me off.. arghhh... get back to life..
Looking forward to the trip with the girls but still worried about how it can get thinking i should have just planned to go alone because i can do what ever i want ... stop complaining j...just wander and go to sleep
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
July 5th
After a wonderful Sunday like atmosphere, all the kids here for dinner and then off they went to the fireworks, Fred and I snuggled up in our room under the air conditioning and I lamented, "oh how I love Fireworks" and Fred said, "yes I know" and if it wasnt for this dumb back and the fact that I wanted to spend the day with the kids and make my blueberry cake I would have been there on the esplanade... it is a wonderful place to spend the 4th of July, it is the patriotic best. So someday I know I will do it again, maybe I will be able to convince the entire family that they need to come spend the day...but crowds are not everyone forte...it isn't that crowded... but the fireworks along the Charles now they are crowded but beautiful and Ive seen them so many times fresh to my eyes... and yes like being at Disney, I wish I could see them everynight. Maybe that is Why I like Disney so much!
Monday, July 04, 2011
Four of July
Amazing. Life
But the there is Death. My cousin barely a year older then me passed.
Rip Marianne. 2-56---6-11.
Then life sucks. Arghh
But the there is Death. My cousin barely a year older then me passed.
Rip Marianne. 2-56---6-11.
Then life sucks. Arghh
Sunday, July 03, 2011
July 3rd, how is it possible
All through life people say... it is static, life goes by too quickly and how I agree, one moment leads to the next and suddenly everything that was has changed and grown, been redeveloped, or developed, much like hair, cutting, changing, colored, braided, ponied, but still the same head, only aging...
Yesterday, It killed me to work, so many people around me, and my family texting me pictures, pictures of the kids in the pool, pics of the new baby, who wants to work with all that happiness taking place at home.... drudgery... but alas work can be an escape to from the madness, but all went well last night, the youngins are growing up and the older ones are getting used to the fact that they aren't the youngins any more.
F and I hide in our roon... It is too funny
Yesterday, It killed me to work, so many people around me, and my family texting me pictures, pictures of the kids in the pool, pics of the new baby, who wants to work with all that happiness taking place at home.... drudgery... but alas work can be an escape to from the madness, but all went well last night, the youngins are growing up and the older ones are getting used to the fact that they aren't the youngins any more.
F and I hide in our roon... It is too funny
Saturday, July 02, 2011
the weekend
the weekend is here--- for some I should say, but not for me, work today and I would much prefer to stay home, two babies are here, my little Ricky who really isn't a baby anymore but I love him so, he has the most vibrant personality, he makes me smile when I see him.
He lost his first tooth, July 1st, 2011. Does anyone every remember when they lost his first tooth. I don't think they do unless there is an extremely zealous Mom or Dad who keeps a journal forever...and it is so easy to do write about the children every waking moment.
Like Johnny, Ricky, and Alastair they are just the best, and I am laughing to myself thinking they are almost exactly 6 years apart from the three of them... how amazing is life. I wish I had more strength and more energy in my days. I get soooo tired. sigh.. I am off to work boo hoo
He lost his first tooth, July 1st, 2011. Does anyone every remember when they lost his first tooth. I don't think they do unless there is an extremely zealous Mom or Dad who keeps a journal forever...and it is so easy to do write about the children every waking moment.
Like Johnny, Ricky, and Alastair they are just the best, and I am laughing to myself thinking they are almost exactly 6 years apart from the three of them... how amazing is life. I wish I had more strength and more energy in my days. I get soooo tired. sigh.. I am off to work boo hoo
Friday, July 01, 2011
new motherhood --- a glance as i am watching
in the middle of the night past midnight ...there is a faint knock on my door...momma...i dont think he is breathing right...i jump out of bed and put my robe on... he is fine..he is tiny...he is breathing nicely...not a quiver, just peaceful in his momms's arm..he is just that tiny...i want to snuggle him up every waking minute...
i worry about her not sleeping because she can't take her eyes off of him...
and i rest uneasy with worry...
she loves him so much...
it makes me cry
i worry about her not sleeping because she can't take her eyes off of him...
and i rest uneasy with worry...
she loves him so much...
it makes me cry
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