thoughts write it out

i have no way to deal with this really... there is only one thing to do and that is to write it out or else i will go mad. the temptation is too great, i want to call him and say what is your fn problem, what did i do to you, ive had to sit and listen to you on how you think theyve made so many mistakes picking people for the program and other stuff you have said about it, and i have to wonder really what is up your ass? but i dont because it just seems to me that talking to you will get me know where, there should be a joint communication, that is all and i dont think that being questioned is like being taught...but hey so goes the way of the world,
you cant show someone how to do something once and expect the person to know it. I think it is just bs that is for sure.
this is such a lonely place,a very lonely place.... not knowing how to handle it, is it worth it, i want to call him and say ...did i do something to piss you off... i want to say to him, what is your problem? but i am not at least for now, my better judgement tells me to let it go and just get on with things...not say a word to b or him about anything for certain they really have made some judgments about me that they are not sharing, but they judge everyone in the office.... it is really sickening. Help!