as time goes by

i never wonder about the past, but often about the future, not any more than when i was younger though... i am more fearful of "losing" not wealth, but health, more fearful of "losing" touch with my inner self, and bowing down to the minions.... the other day an argument of sorts took place. a person i work with who has 4 children also, the oldest is 10, the youngest still an infant...

---he said.....i am going to direct my children to where i want them to be. my daughters will be nurses, my son -- he's in sports, he's making connections, I know he wont be a bobby orr but he is still making connections that will be useful for getting a job in a high paying position later in life...

he continued,

it isn't about being happy it is all about money...

i said -- not everyone can be a nurse....
he said....there are other types of nursing careers...
i said, but who wants to be one? a very difficult choice....
and then he said...my wife is a teacher she made a bad choice, she cant teach while the kids are home...
sure she could, i could have continued to argue but why bother...

there are always choices one has to make and from there things are decided...
career / no career
business / arts / humanity / science / politics / education / how many fields
and where is the money?

money does matter but it isnt the only satisfaction in life

i have learned to do without many times in my life, not just clothing but going out, new cars, new lots of things that really just get old and need to be thrown out after awhile... entertainment... ---- you name it, i've gone without because living life and being happy doesnt necessitate always having the best of every "thing" to me, the best part of my life is my relationship with my husband,
integrity, respect and a love that people dream of ...but it has not come about easily....

my innocence in youth perhaps helped me upon this path, but the truths i have witnessed as i have aged and watched my children grow have given me a vision i really dont care to see or to know but nonetheless i have to accept...
still for myself... i choose
for life and living,

the drive to no where
a walk in the woods, or a hike in the hills
lazing on the beach from 9 til sunset
reading and swimming
sleeping til noon
or staying in bed all day and night ... til the next day... if i could
staying up late and watching a good movie even though i know i have to work the next day
making a great dinner and having a small group over for conversation
my family coming together impromptly
and children who have opinions but dont have to argue --- could this be possilbe?

i choose simplicity
if only it were that simple