It is Saturday and all is ok. I am maintaining, but I've come to the realization that there are no "standards" for those who are participating in this program. By standards, I mean standards of knowledge, standards of ability, and in some ways standards of ethics. For instance, one student isn't held to knowing and doing as much as another student. It all depends upon who the trainer is or trainers are. And the ethical standard is the fact that one trainer can completely destroy a student and there is no punitive action as far as I can see.
I think that after 10 years of having this program that things would be different, but I guess that isn't the case. It is the typical p way, if you try to fix it, it will cost a ton of money so... why bother....
I think that one of the problems is that fact that trainers do not receive compensation. If they did, they might be inspired to teach and do it with good intentions.
Now, my first trainer was fantastic, she taught me a lot, and she had patience, and also a way of being that was a match for me. She certainly help me to excel. On the other hand, the second trainer was an egotistical maniac from the first 15 minutes I spent with him til the infamous last.
Now, here I am in a completely different situation. A situation of team leadership and a group of s. who work together. I have never seen so many s's in one place. But I don't say anything for fear of stirring up the pot. So, here I am in a weird situation, more so because I have a certain standard, a certain expectation, as a teacher and also as a trainee. To me it would have been beneficial if they let me try to manage the floor and fill in where I need help, oversee me so to speak. However, they let me get used to the place, so that is good too. Learning....I am taking my vision as it is, keeping my mouth shut, and watching.
I gave my first safety talk to the group on Friday. They seemed positive and receptive, and actually very nice. I kept it short and sweet, talked about the spring, "watch out for that winter clutter and your daydreaming." Hazards. etc.
D. the manager was supportive...he even winked at me... I feel as if he had some insight into me. Yes, I like to be told I am doing a good job.
I bet he knows D G. hummm
Anyway... on the other hand no feedback good or bad from my trainer (s). Coached by B and that was about it. I like her. She is straight and serious, but funny too. A little different than me. She says "I was wild as a teen." One might think I was but I wasn't. I had my days but for the most part I have been serious my entire life, it is difficult for me to have fun. What is my problem....
At work.... The problem is that I know how to do many of the functions, I just wish they would let me do them. And I am sure it is going to happen very soon. So I am not worried about it at all. I will worry then. Her count is different than mine... so where will we go from here.
On the home front, well, I have a bunch of freeloaders and a son who wants freedom, which is fine, but he needs to do it on his own time and get the chip off his shoulder.
My girls are hard workers, my boys... well they are hard workers too, but there's a difference in the maturity rate between them. I see it in all of them regardless of what they see.
Today is a cleaning day on the list... Laundry, all the ceiling fans, and the front porch. Also I want to see if we can somehow trim that tree out back. I will have to call the tree company, something I really dont want to do, but.... I think it is a good idea before the leaves come in.
It is really getting to be nice out. H is too sensitive about stuff I say, and that I don't know how to fix. If I say to her, you are too sensitive, I am sure she will get pissed. Oh well, sometimes silence is the best thing...Just do what I have to do. Laundry, the porch, and the tree, main focuses today....
I'll tkae my lousy 2.6 and do on, managing myself as best that I can. It is what I should have gotten last week. Being an over achiever sucks, what week was that...11... only 5 more weeks of this shit then onto something else.... plus i have to bid after I get through.... on with the day.
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