Wednesday, August 31, 2011
At hospital
Visiting Mom. She didn't look so well at first. But she's perking up! Can't go home til tomorrow. Boo hoo
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
same goings
Mom in hospital for test ---will stop by after work, they said she could go home if all goes ok. So that is a positive. She's at my brother's so that is good too, close. The cape house will be a full house this weekend which is good for Mom, unfortunately I like the quiet... My house is never quiet and I never know what to expect on the weekend. Two days off ...yahoo... Just gotta love it. My husband stresses me out, all he said he wants to do is relax, but there is no relaxation when we have a busy family, I am laughing as I am delirious. Slept long, can't stand being crazy.
Monday, August 29, 2011
monday morning
monday morning queasy
nerves are shot i would say, always when i can't sleep because there is just so much to do and i am sick to my stomach.
ha, such is the way of it all.
survived the hurricane well tropical storm, but heard a few trees crackling during the gusts of wind
standing outside was like a snub to the power of nature for within those seconds i wondered, will the wind come get me and pick me up, float me like a feather, the fierceness of his arms so strong to snap a truck like a twig, my favorite willow tree, snapped in half... could he snap me, the menace as he was, Mr Wind
yet, even though fear set in my head, my heart felt a softness, for the wind was not cruel and cold, but warm and wet, not spitting, but soothing, like a spray of lotion, a blanket bequeathed, so was the art of Irene and her man, Mr wind...
watched the newest Jane Eyre, it was well done, and i did drop a couple of tears, but nothing as when i read the book. geesh i almost paniced as i tried to post, lost again would not be good for me, just ghostly
nerves are shot i would say, always when i can't sleep because there is just so much to do and i am sick to my stomach.
ha, such is the way of it all.
survived the hurricane well tropical storm, but heard a few trees crackling during the gusts of wind
standing outside was like a snub to the power of nature for within those seconds i wondered, will the wind come get me and pick me up, float me like a feather, the fierceness of his arms so strong to snap a truck like a twig, my favorite willow tree, snapped in half... could he snap me, the menace as he was, Mr Wind
yet, even though fear set in my head, my heart felt a softness, for the wind was not cruel and cold, but warm and wet, not spitting, but soothing, like a spray of lotion, a blanket bequeathed, so was the art of Irene and her man, Mr wind...
watched the newest Jane Eyre, it was well done, and i did drop a couple of tears, but nothing as when i read the book. geesh i almost paniced as i tried to post, lost again would not be good for me, just ghostly
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Stormy
Day dark quiet napping dinner with everyone peaceful less hectic. Still stressed. Need to get finances straightened out for Dd's school.
My car is making noises in the under carriage and I am trying to avoid having a major breakdown. Mental yes. Sane yes but too much to handle is just getting to me. I'll be glad when I only have my job to do.
My car is making noises in the under carriage and I am trying to avoid having a major breakdown. Mental yes. Sane yes but too much to handle is just getting to me. I'll be glad when I only have my job to do.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
quick thoughts on the run
I love being able to post photos from my phone... it is easier than uploading.hehe..and I get to look at them large size!
yesterday was hectic... but good, mom was happy, got her blood tests done, shopping, laundry, made beds etc and then she told my sister she worked me like a slave, no way momma, I just want to keep you happy and safe and make sure you have all that you need. so that was my day off, but it was worth it.
i think that is what is wrong with people today they do not know how to make a sacrifice for others... everyone must be paid, and then some.
disgusted at my cousin lack of concern for his property and the people he let live there... took pics of the house and sent them to my other sister, he better straighten that mess out...
otherwise nothing much except so much to do around here between cars and kids going back to college and just having a house that can hold so much stuff.
next tuesday Mom at MGH and then it is Labor Day... September slow down
yesterday was hectic... but good, mom was happy, got her blood tests done, shopping, laundry, made beds etc and then she told my sister she worked me like a slave, no way momma, I just want to keep you happy and safe and make sure you have all that you need. so that was my day off, but it was worth it.
i think that is what is wrong with people today they do not know how to make a sacrifice for others... everyone must be paid, and then some.
disgusted at my cousin lack of concern for his property and the people he let live there... took pics of the house and sent them to my other sister, he better straighten that mess out...
otherwise nothing much except so much to do around here between cars and kids going back to college and just having a house that can hold so much stuff.
next tuesday Mom at MGH and then it is Labor Day... September slow down
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
new week
last week was just crazy, doing two jobs,or rather covering someone else's position while doing my own isnt easy at all... especially when there are adjustments going on and craziness...
then at home...
fighting... i dislike fighting and perhaps i can be unsympathetic to my children, but i am not going to be a push over either, they need to pitch in --- fact... the water bill has doubled, i can't afford them all.
then the entire situation with a friend of DD... putting a restraining order on M and then extending it without just cause, sending cops to my house at 6:30 in the morning. and upsetting the entire family. The justice system is not just. And that little twit...who is supposed to be a friend of dd and even a friend of mine, well she is not my friend that is for certain, and she has shown Dd that she really isnt her friend either. Talk about blowing a situation out of perspective, the girl is deluded. But I must say my kids have come together over this but it doesnt justify the upset, the craziness, the disruption, the unfairness of the entire situation...
i spent an entire evening crying and sick to my stomach lamenting the fact that I told him not to bother going to court, just let it go and then she turned around and did this. little witch. you will get your comeupance...for certain. God I want to forgive but I can not, the with needs to set this right.
then at home...
fighting... i dislike fighting and perhaps i can be unsympathetic to my children, but i am not going to be a push over either, they need to pitch in --- fact... the water bill has doubled, i can't afford them all.
then the entire situation with a friend of DD... putting a restraining order on M and then extending it without just cause, sending cops to my house at 6:30 in the morning. and upsetting the entire family. The justice system is not just. And that little twit...who is supposed to be a friend of dd and even a friend of mine, well she is not my friend that is for certain, and she has shown Dd that she really isnt her friend either. Talk about blowing a situation out of perspective, the girl is deluded. But I must say my kids have come together over this but it doesnt justify the upset, the craziness, the disruption, the unfairness of the entire situation...
i spent an entire evening crying and sick to my stomach lamenting the fact that I told him not to bother going to court, just let it go and then she turned around and did this. little witch. you will get your comeupance...for certain. God I want to forgive but I can not, the with needs to set this right.
Friday, August 19, 2011
eyes hurt
so upset i felt like crying
started to cry then couldn't stop
daughter stopped by and we talked
that helped to stop the tears
but i do not understand people some times
i do not understand the younger generation
it is out of control
their righteousness and the consequence of such
they need to look at their own behavior and question
over zealousness lead to unneccessary anguish
i am so sick
pray for repair
repair my heart
repair my faith
like i am a tire or a wall
that can be replaced
i dont think that can happen for once
ripped up it stays together but not the same way
for that space that felt the sword
or the squeeze will never be the same again
that's the inside of me
started to cry then couldn't stop
daughter stopped by and we talked
that helped to stop the tears
but i do not understand people some times
i do not understand the younger generation
it is out of control
their righteousness and the consequence of such
they need to look at their own behavior and question
over zealousness lead to unneccessary anguish
i am so sick
pray for repair
repair my heart
repair my faith
like i am a tire or a wall
that can be replaced
i dont think that can happen for once
ripped up it stays together but not the same way
for that space that felt the sword
or the squeeze will never be the same again
that's the inside of me
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Going out of my mind
It is crazy. People that are supposed to be your friends doing things that deliberately hurt people. I am disgusted at this situation. Sooo unfare. Really really angry now
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
just talk
conversation with Mom,
me: some times it gets crazy around here, tonight it is just Fred and I ... quiet, I'm making pasta and we are going to enjoy dinner
Mom: yes, I remember sometimes just wanting to get into the car and drive, just take off.
And she did, when she started to travel, she started taking off. I think it is so important for women with children to find or create their private nook, a place where they can just relax and not worry about anyone but themselves. It doesn't happen often, but I find my nook here and there and when I have those days there is not a moment when I say I miss the craziness.
me: some times it gets crazy around here, tonight it is just Fred and I ... quiet, I'm making pasta and we are going to enjoy dinner
Mom: yes, I remember sometimes just wanting to get into the car and drive, just take off.
And she did, when she started to travel, she started taking off. I think it is so important for women with children to find or create their private nook, a place where they can just relax and not worry about anyone but themselves. It doesn't happen often, but I find my nook here and there and when I have those days there is not a moment when I say I miss the craziness.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
16th
Still behind on this month somehow....
supposed to go to the ear drs again...just tired of it all.
Made tacos, meatballs and burgers for a feast days suppers.... that will be a little break.
will stop at the farmer's market and get some stuff... just need a break.
supposed to go to the ear drs again...just tired of it all.
Made tacos, meatballs and burgers for a feast days suppers.... that will be a little break.
will stop at the farmer's market and get some stuff... just need a break.
Monday, August 15, 2011
today talk
Mom is going for her big tests today. If she doesn't pass them that wont be a happy conclusion, so I am praying that she does...mentally she is fit as a fiddle she could play it too if needed...the duel with the devil so they say...
off to work, boss is back today. I was just thinking of all the stuff we have coming up, boy it is going to be crazy with the kids beginning school and all that.
need to call insurance co today and also the baby furniture co. so much to do and no time to do it.
Lament
before my shower i could hear the wind howel
water ascending upon the earth,
hitting the house,
washing the walk
watering the flowers
like April she is singing
but hard and dark like the coming
of Autumn
It has been a rainy August
July why don't you Howl?
off to work, boss is back today. I was just thinking of all the stuff we have coming up, boy it is going to be crazy with the kids beginning school and all that.
need to call insurance co today and also the baby furniture co. so much to do and no time to do it.
Lament
before my shower i could hear the wind howel
water ascending upon the earth,
hitting the house,
washing the walk
watering the flowers
like April she is singing
but hard and dark like the coming
of Autumn
It has been a rainy August
July why don't you Howl?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
August 14th
Sunday morning up early, do not want to waste the day. It is so easy to lay in bed and do nothing, read, watch tv. But I don't, I can't, restless, got up and did the usual Sunday cleaning, bathrooms, vacumn, --- wondering all the while what I should make for dinner, today, Meatloaf, and meatballs, and a sauce to go with them. They like the homemade meatballs not the ones already made: they'll eat them but complain the entire meal, so I won't buy them anymore, who wants to listen to complaints. Not I
Complaints ruin the day. Just be happy, content and enjoy that you are here on the planet, today you are not working, today you get to relax and just be home here, it isn't bad when there is no one complaining or bickering.
My kids bicker, it drives me mad. I really don't want to hear it, it is then when I say take me else where so I don't have to hear this bs. And that is another thing, complaining: yes I am because I am now deaf in my right ear. How wonderful is that?!
Another day gone by the way side. I do think it would be wonderful to have two days off in a row...but I don't know when that is going to happen. arghh.
which brings me to the matter of the topics going on in the house...
Politics: hot hot topic. and my husband who is tweeting wtracker2
Complaints ruin the day. Just be happy, content and enjoy that you are here on the planet, today you are not working, today you get to relax and just be home here, it isn't bad when there is no one complaining or bickering.
My kids bicker, it drives me mad. I really don't want to hear it, it is then when I say take me else where so I don't have to hear this bs. And that is another thing, complaining: yes I am because I am now deaf in my right ear. How wonderful is that?!
Another day gone by the way side. I do think it would be wonderful to have two days off in a row...but I don't know when that is going to happen. arghh.
which brings me to the matter of the topics going on in the house...
Politics: hot hot topic. and my husband who is tweeting wtracker2
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