Friday, March 18, 2005
My Take on the Gates (Take 1)
My Take on “The Gates”
Growing up in Boston I developed a love affair, and romantic notions, about places with large trees, grassy knolls, squirrels, pigeons, swans, and paddle boats, a Frog Pond that humans swim in and a public garden that has a bridge where meant to be lovers could accidentally meet, all this not far from tall buildings and a river where sailboats race and rowboats float. These pictures came from the Boston Common where I can sit on a shady bench and imagine cows grazing still, and the Boston Public Garden where women and men walk with umbrellas and secretly smoke, and children long to pick flowers even though they are told ‘no.’ But having all these notions, doesn’t blind me to the historical reality that these places were planned and with a great purpose. And through them I discovered Frederick Olmstead, the architect, and I’ve often though, “Humm, what a man!” And of course learning about him, I also learned about Central Park in New York City, the home of those damn Yankees, but I can't help it, I love it there.
This park beloved by so many, why me, why the thunder and the beat, why be one of the many, instead of one of the few? Maybe it is because Central Park seems undiscoverable, there is always more there to see, to walk, to ponder on, then I have made it through. Someday perhaps my infatuation will dissolve into a more realistic view, but for now, it remains a place where my imagination finds no flaws, only love and landscape, beauty and road.
And those roads lead me to “The Gates” The Christos and Jean Claude exhibit that took place in Central Park just last month (February 2005) for only a two weeks.
Last summer, when I visited the park, the Dairy all ready had merchandise for sale. Drawings of what “The Gates” would look like, documentations of the ‘plan.’ I bought nothing, but mused about the idea, wondering would it really be like the drawings, large scale, romantic, bright orange sheets flowing from rectangle arches erected in the park to create a form of tunnel? Is that what it would be like? The park can be dark, ominous in the winter, except when it snows. I thought about it, let the pictures float in my mind, and then they passed until the news media, and the Executive Director of my community center remarked to me, “My sister in law is working on that.”
I thought, “What would her experience be?” And then later on, “What would my experience be?” I asked around, “Who will come with me?” I felt like the Little Red Hen, not me, not me --- me--- but only if you, arghhh!
Through diligence and with delight two co-workers said they would take the jaunt to Manhattan and visit “The Gates.” So we took the bus out of South Station for an over night stay.
We reached Harlem by 10:30, the edge of Central Park and I took out my camera and took a shot, the first sight of the orange, the saffron as it is called, my heart and eyes leapt through the dark light, the camera snapped as the bus rolled on down the avenue.
How strange the photo is. Is it bad film, bad light, is it a reflection, is it a spirit? I caught the flaccid and the blown, but it is dark and hard to read with shadow. However, this the first picture gives me something I felt missing during my visit. The gift of the spiritual a feeling of the unknown.
Growing up in Boston I developed a love affair, and romantic notions, about places with large trees, grassy knolls, squirrels, pigeons, swans, and paddle boats, a Frog Pond that humans swim in and a public garden that has a bridge where meant to be lovers could accidentally meet, all this not far from tall buildings and a river where sailboats race and rowboats float. These pictures came from the Boston Common where I can sit on a shady bench and imagine cows grazing still, and the Boston Public Garden where women and men walk with umbrellas and secretly smoke, and children long to pick flowers even though they are told ‘no.’ But having all these notions, doesn’t blind me to the historical reality that these places were planned and with a great purpose. And through them I discovered Frederick Olmstead, the architect, and I’ve often though, “Humm, what a man!” And of course learning about him, I also learned about Central Park in New York City, the home of those damn Yankees, but I can't help it, I love it there.
This park beloved by so many, why me, why the thunder and the beat, why be one of the many, instead of one of the few? Maybe it is because Central Park seems undiscoverable, there is always more there to see, to walk, to ponder on, then I have made it through. Someday perhaps my infatuation will dissolve into a more realistic view, but for now, it remains a place where my imagination finds no flaws, only love and landscape, beauty and road.
And those roads lead me to “The Gates” The Christos and Jean Claude exhibit that took place in Central Park just last month (February 2005) for only a two weeks.
Last summer, when I visited the park, the Dairy all ready had merchandise for sale. Drawings of what “The Gates” would look like, documentations of the ‘plan.’ I bought nothing, but mused about the idea, wondering would it really be like the drawings, large scale, romantic, bright orange sheets flowing from rectangle arches erected in the park to create a form of tunnel? Is that what it would be like? The park can be dark, ominous in the winter, except when it snows. I thought about it, let the pictures float in my mind, and then they passed until the news media, and the Executive Director of my community center remarked to me, “My sister in law is working on that.”
I thought, “What would her experience be?” And then later on, “What would my experience be?” I asked around, “Who will come with me?” I felt like the Little Red Hen, not me, not me --- me--- but only if you, arghhh!
Through diligence and with delight two co-workers said they would take the jaunt to Manhattan and visit “The Gates.” So we took the bus out of South Station for an over night stay.
We reached Harlem by 10:30, the edge of Central Park and I took out my camera and took a shot, the first sight of the orange, the saffron as it is called, my heart and eyes leapt through the dark light, the camera snapped as the bus rolled on down the avenue.
How strange the photo is. Is it bad film, bad light, is it a reflection, is it a spirit? I caught the flaccid and the blown, but it is dark and hard to read with shadow. However, this the first picture gives me something I felt missing during my visit. The gift of the spiritual a feeling of the unknown.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
so here is someone
MAX First Night 2005
this is from the performance of "Where Are the Wild Things?" an adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak A test to see how I could go about uploading etc. I plan on working on my Gates experience that will be interesting.
its been awhile
i realize i havent been writing much of anything except my blues and fighting for my life which is probably going to be the way it has to be for eternity since dreams do go up in smoke sometimes.
i will be traveling to arizona to visit my sister and that will be nice. i need a break ...the last time i wrote in here my blogger got lot so i stopped that was months ago.
i wonder if i can rectify that... being slightly depressed about nothing and trying to work things out in my mind that just are not working out.
i will be a new grandmother again, again not under the best of circumstances, when we had our children we planned, things were not perfect but we were a team, and we knew we would care for our own. now i know things i dont want to know now i understand things i dont want to understand im going to try to write daily even if it makes no sense that's that
happy st patricks day
i will be traveling to arizona to visit my sister and that will be nice. i need a break ...the last time i wrote in here my blogger got lot so i stopped that was months ago.
i wonder if i can rectify that... being slightly depressed about nothing and trying to work things out in my mind that just are not working out.
i will be a new grandmother again, again not under the best of circumstances, when we had our children we planned, things were not perfect but we were a team, and we knew we would care for our own. now i know things i dont want to know now i understand things i dont want to understand im going to try to write daily even if it makes no sense that's that
happy st patricks day
Sunday, September 26, 2004
I didnt listen to a word he said....
I just went on ranting until I hung up.
I went back to bed and huffed as I did, plopping down on the matress, I pulled on the covers and whined, "I hate teenagers."
My husband stirred, and rolled toward me, "I heard you." He lite a cigarette and I fanned away the smoke. "Argggghhh," I whined, "Why are you smoking now?" It was a silly question and we both laughed.
We chatted for awhile and then husband asked, "What time is it?"
"Like 5 a.m. or so,"
"You have a nerve waking me up so early."
"I didn't mean to." But I did.
"I have to get up for work." He got out of bed and stretched.
"I have to masturbate and then go to work."
He leaned over me and said, "What did you say?"
And I laughed as I repeated myself, and he laughed too as he moved in closer to kiss me with his morning mouth, that really is never that bad......Happy Anniversary.... do you believe it?
.........................................................................................................................................................................
I am not the best lover in the morning, but our interlude just made the day start off perfect for ourselves regardless of the wandering teen.
Early afternoon came to my job and my co worker found me filing, "I was looking for you, your cell was ringing."
"Oh, I wonder, but thanks."
I pressed the missed calls, it was home, "Hello" --- it was my husband,
"What are you doing home?"
"I told ...it was our anniversary and he said I could leave early. Come home and well go get something to eat."
"Did you forget I have an appointment this afternoon?"
"Oh yea, you told me?"
"I'll see if I can cancel it and call you right back."
"OK"
I called my gf who was eating lunch with her son in a restaurant, the cells were breaking up, but we postponed our meet to Monday, I called home and left work with the expectation of a late lunch and a nice ride. I thought maybe would we stop by some quiet place and do a bit of making out like old times.... but when I came in the door my husband was sitting in his chair on the computer and told me our daughter had said,"Does that leave me out?" when he told her we were going to get something to eat. He said," I couldn't tell her she shouldn't come." I scolded him a bit, but but, and "here I was thinking we were going for a private ride."
He smiled," I'm still rubber legged from this morning, I need time."
I just grinned and laughed, "Ya ya."
"We might as well ask them all," I said as I tried to reach my daughter, no answer, and the teenage late night also said he wanted to stay home....
We got into the new old car, soft seats, sleek body, quiet ride and took to the road. The day was warm and sunny, not hot, just warm enough that you could sit in the car without a jacket and without ac dropping the window here and there for air, and putting it up again to keep a chill from getting in.
"This was like the day we got married," my husband and I both said, and our daughter listened,
really. It was a beautiful day, sunny, warm, but not hot, just the same.
We had planned to go to the Hilltop Steakhouse, but as we drove our conversation changed, "We could go to the cape and visit your Mother," my husband said.
"Are you sure? Aren't you tired?"
"I feel like driving."
"Ok then let's do it."
Our daughter in the back seat leaned up, "What what are we doing?"
We told her, she sat back and moaned,"I'm starving, you've kidnapped me," but then she was relaxed as we listened to the radio occcaisionally singing along with a song or two.
We talked here and there and explored all the features of the new car so fancy, but what a smooth ride. Our daughter interjected here and there and complained if we turned the radio down low so we could chat.
"Geesh, we can't even talk," I complained.
As we got closer to my mothers house I said, "Should I call?"
"No"
"NO make it a surprise"
So we did.
I went back to bed and huffed as I did, plopping down on the matress, I pulled on the covers and whined, "I hate teenagers."
My husband stirred, and rolled toward me, "I heard you." He lite a cigarette and I fanned away the smoke. "Argggghhh," I whined, "Why are you smoking now?" It was a silly question and we both laughed.
We chatted for awhile and then husband asked, "What time is it?"
"Like 5 a.m. or so,"
"You have a nerve waking me up so early."
"I didn't mean to." But I did.
"I have to get up for work." He got out of bed and stretched.
"I have to masturbate and then go to work."
He leaned over me and said, "What did you say?"
And I laughed as I repeated myself, and he laughed too as he moved in closer to kiss me with his morning mouth, that really is never that bad......Happy Anniversary.... do you believe it?
.........................................................................................................................................................................
I am not the best lover in the morning, but our interlude just made the day start off perfect for ourselves regardless of the wandering teen.
Early afternoon came to my job and my co worker found me filing, "I was looking for you, your cell was ringing."
"Oh, I wonder, but thanks."
I pressed the missed calls, it was home, "Hello" --- it was my husband,
"What are you doing home?"
"I told ...it was our anniversary and he said I could leave early. Come home and well go get something to eat."
"Did you forget I have an appointment this afternoon?"
"Oh yea, you told me?"
"I'll see if I can cancel it and call you right back."
"OK"
I called my gf who was eating lunch with her son in a restaurant, the cells were breaking up, but we postponed our meet to Monday, I called home and left work with the expectation of a late lunch and a nice ride. I thought maybe would we stop by some quiet place and do a bit of making out like old times.... but when I came in the door my husband was sitting in his chair on the computer and told me our daughter had said,"Does that leave me out?" when he told her we were going to get something to eat. He said," I couldn't tell her she shouldn't come." I scolded him a bit, but but, and "here I was thinking we were going for a private ride."
He smiled," I'm still rubber legged from this morning, I need time."
I just grinned and laughed, "Ya ya."
"We might as well ask them all," I said as I tried to reach my daughter, no answer, and the teenage late night also said he wanted to stay home....
We got into the new old car, soft seats, sleek body, quiet ride and took to the road. The day was warm and sunny, not hot, just warm enough that you could sit in the car without a jacket and without ac dropping the window here and there for air, and putting it up again to keep a chill from getting in.
"This was like the day we got married," my husband and I both said, and our daughter listened,
really. It was a beautiful day, sunny, warm, but not hot, just the same.
We had planned to go to the Hilltop Steakhouse, but as we drove our conversation changed, "We could go to the cape and visit your Mother," my husband said.
"Are you sure? Aren't you tired?"
"I feel like driving."
"Ok then let's do it."
Our daughter in the back seat leaned up, "What what are we doing?"
We told her, she sat back and moaned,"I'm starving, you've kidnapped me," but then she was relaxed as we listened to the radio occcaisionally singing along with a song or two.
We talked here and there and explored all the features of the new car so fancy, but what a smooth ride. Our daughter interjected here and there and complained if we turned the radio down low so we could chat.
"Geesh, we can't even talk," I complained.
As we got closer to my mothers house I said, "Should I call?"
"No"
"NO make it a surprise"
So we did.
That Little Bastard
I called his cell phone again, this time he answered.
"Mom"
"Where are you?"
"At my gf's house."
"I told you to be home. I haven't slept all night. It is your father's and my anniversary. "
"I missed the last two buses."
"I told you to get home."
"I couldn't get a ride."
"What time did MR go home?"
"Earlier, but I didn't go home with him."
"Obviously, you just decided not to come home."
"I figured I'd just go home in the morning."
"I'm not putting up with this, you're grounded. .... I ranted on and on....in a rage.... If it happens again you can find some place else to live. Your father and I have to go to work, and you better be home when I get here."
"But but,
"Mom"
"Where are you?"
"At my gf's house."
"I told you to be home. I haven't slept all night. It is your father's and my anniversary. "
"I missed the last two buses."
"I told you to get home."
"I couldn't get a ride."
"What time did MR go home?"
"Earlier, but I didn't go home with him."
"Obviously, you just decided not to come home."
"I figured I'd just go home in the morning."
"I'm not putting up with this, you're grounded. .... I ranted on and on....in a rage.... If it happens again you can find some place else to live. Your father and I have to go to work, and you better be home when I get here."
"But but,
September 25th....
Yesterday was our 28th wedding anniversary and it turned out to be a surprising wonderful day. --- I was expecting much of a day as the week had been hectic... Our kids were making us crazy as always; we were hunting for a new car --- stressful, and my grandson got sick and I spent 4 hours in the emergency ward of a hospital because I was afraid he was going to get Scarlet Fever. But all those daily tramas worked out ok. Kids are now more settled, we bought an old used car, The Eldorado -- The LD maybe I will call it, Lazy Drive for it is sleek and big and a nice smooth ride... and my little grandson is on the mend, That is the best.
So ... what made this wife happy on a day that could have been a disaster......
The night before:
My husband and I went to bed at separate times, we were both wiped out from all the car hunting, shopping , and delivery of the same.... But we kiss each other with a soft peck and my husband held my fingers until he difted away. I got out of bed a few minutes later as I decided to call my teenage son. I hadn't heard from him since earlier when he wanted a ride to where his girl friend lives.
"Where are you?"
"At the tennis courts.?
"Come get me Mom."
"No, I can't I'm too tired. You better leave there now and get home."
"But, but,"
"NO buts, I want you home tonight and that doesnt mean at 1:30 in the morning."
"OK, I'll try."
The hesitation in his voice was an apparent hint of what was to come, the short breath after -- I'll try...was a warning to me.
I went back to bed so exhausted I fell asleep immediately even though Terms of Endearment was on -- a movie I never miss, but my eyelids closed and next it was 4:15 a.m. My eyes probed for the digital ---- promptly, I got out of bed, went downstairs and saw no skateboard there, no sneakers there, ---alarmed, I went up to his room, the door was opened, the was bed empty except for his blankets. I raced downstairs and called his cell phone --- no answer.
I swore aloud, "that little bastard. I hate teenagers."
So ... what made this wife happy on a day that could have been a disaster......
The night before:
My husband and I went to bed at separate times, we were both wiped out from all the car hunting, shopping , and delivery of the same.... But we kiss each other with a soft peck and my husband held my fingers until he difted away. I got out of bed a few minutes later as I decided to call my teenage son. I hadn't heard from him since earlier when he wanted a ride to where his girl friend lives.
"Where are you?"
"At the tennis courts.?
"Come get me Mom."
"No, I can't I'm too tired. You better leave there now and get home."
"But, but,"
"NO buts, I want you home tonight and that doesnt mean at 1:30 in the morning."
"OK, I'll try."
The hesitation in his voice was an apparent hint of what was to come, the short breath after -- I'll try...was a warning to me.
I went back to bed so exhausted I fell asleep immediately even though Terms of Endearment was on -- a movie I never miss, but my eyelids closed and next it was 4:15 a.m. My eyes probed for the digital ---- promptly, I got out of bed, went downstairs and saw no skateboard there, no sneakers there, ---alarmed, I went up to his room, the door was opened, the was bed empty except for his blankets. I raced downstairs and called his cell phone --- no answer.
I swore aloud, "that little bastard. I hate teenagers."
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
divorce without marriage
...when will i say something of value in here? I dont know if i will ever be able to ...
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Politics at home and in the home
I hate politics, but one must be able to argue points or one might as well never bother ---
My children attend liberal schools, this I like.
I am a liberal, my husband a conservative. We've just has the most politically charged arguement in the history of our marriage.
I never wanted to see our country go into Iraq... and I still want us out. Could I change my opinion of George W. ? ... As a person I like him, he seems like an average guy... but as a woman, I do not agree with his religious policies, and his abortion policies.
I've not a moment to breath lately. Too much going on in the house, too many things unsettled, and too much work not getting done. I need some space. I need some freedom and most of all I need a vacation. A nice vacation, an inspirational vacation.
My children attend liberal schools, this I like.
I am a liberal, my husband a conservative. We've just has the most politically charged arguement in the history of our marriage.
I never wanted to see our country go into Iraq... and I still want us out. Could I change my opinion of George W. ? ... As a person I like him, he seems like an average guy... but as a woman, I do not agree with his religious policies, and his abortion policies.
I've not a moment to breath lately. Too much going on in the house, too many things unsettled, and too much work not getting done. I need some space. I need some freedom and most of all I need a vacation. A nice vacation, an inspirational vacation.
Friday, August 27, 2004
sex lies and diamonds
i have no diamonds ....do i want them... this i do not know.... sometimes i wish for one a really nice brilliant one that i could look at and love. but ... then i wonder what for.... have no money for it anyway...
my children are my diamonds. i could write about them forever
my children are my diamonds. i could write about them forever
Thursday, August 26, 2004
I have no idea what I am doing....
but I've decided to write here for a bit. I dont expect anyone to read it, but it would be nice if someone said hello if someone did pass by. I hope to experiment and work on my writing, not just journal in here. It will be a place for me to work, as I never seem to get any work done anymore. new again j
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