June 29 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Note
At approx. 5 pm this evening my long time ... I'm not going to NYC with you husband said. We will go in the fall. I don't f'n believe it. So I am writing this here to prove it. Ya! Now he says. Talk. I said he is reneging. He says he us not. Ok. Here we go!
June29th..
Wow another day gone by and nearly a month. Craziness still happening...lots of noise and the ins and outs of children and grandchildren...life is not an idle... it is a fast paced run... B and I need a vacation...i just might plan one for September again... I don't know have to wait and see... Funds low.... should I play the lottery..haha I make myself laugh because I am not usually lucky at anything...
oh well back to the grind..again
Dianna says she was up and couldnt sleep worried about the baby. she cannot see him through the bassinet... relax i say but that is easy for me being a new mom is scary but she is doing well considering that i think she is on her own is many ways. this of course if annoying me...anyone have a brick...
oh well back to the grind..again
Dianna says she was up and couldnt sleep worried about the baby. she cannot see him through the bassinet... relax i say but that is easy for me being a new mom is scary but she is doing well considering that i think she is on her own is many ways. this of course if annoying me...anyone have a brick...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Note
If you build s support system make sure it is strong and will be there no
Matter what. If you build one falsely it will fall apart and when you really need it you will be have so many things falling apart at once you just might collapse
How people thought perceptions are all parts of being human. Without them you might as well not bother to be Those without thought and perception. What are they really. Not human at all. Monsters in our dreams Beasts to our hearts and tickets to the tear joint
Matter what. If you build one falsely it will fall apart and when you really need it you will be have so many things falling apart at once you just might collapse
How people thought perceptions are all parts of being human. Without them you might as well not bother to be Those without thought and perception. What are they really. Not human at all. Monsters in our dreams Beasts to our hearts and tickets to the tear joint
Monday, June 27, 2011
Passion
I am filled with Passion. If someone says I'm
High strung. I have to say. No I'm passionate about everything. I have energy that others would like to bottle am I bragging. No. It is fact. But I love to read and relax and write and love passionately too.
So if you know me. Be prepared for my zealousness because it is here even when I'm sleeping
High strung. I have to say. No I'm passionate about everything. I have energy that others would like to bottle am I bragging. No. It is fact. But I love to read and relax and write and love passionately too.
So if you know me. Be prepared for my zealousness because it is here even when I'm sleeping
back to the grind
don't want to do it, but have to ...i only have to work a month and then ill have two weeks off... well here i go...
very meloncholy... so much to do and not enough energy can someone give me some. off i go
very meloncholy... so much to do and not enough energy can someone give me some. off i go
Sunday, June 26, 2011
finally figured how to post pics
After trial and error...I figured out how to post pics via my iphone... I phones are not compatible with things not Apple...and though i love my iphone all can be a learning curve on how to do things, or how to do the things that you like to do. This has been such a wonderful last past week, how can another week top it....that i do not know.
So here I go ....
So here I go ....
finally figured how to post pics
After trial and error...I figured out how to post pics via my iphone... I phones are not compatible with things not Apple...and though i love my iphone all can be a learning curve on how to do things, or how to do the things that you like to do. This has been such a wonderful last past week, how can another week top it....that i do not know.
So here I go ....
So here I go ....
test link
http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh280/reddragonarts/Dianna%20and%20Alastair%2006252011/20110625mfachihulydiannaalastairpam179.jpg
Friday, June 24, 2011
June 22...23....24....
I cannot describe the ride I have been on for the last few days. My well of emotions is over ridden
with love I must say thank you to all those who so generously shared their support and gave to my daughter and myself and my family.... so much to write...so many pictures to upload... but i'll give it a try...
tonight i'll write
tomorrow I'll load...some and i'll try not to be too long with it all...
on the 22nd of June I woke at 430 am...dressed, went to work, did my floor, but was a bit out of tune....as...
It really all started there...on Wednesday at work, my rush
Jimmy G --- came to me,his cell phone in hand.... my husband was on the phone, Dd has to go to the hospital right away, she has merconium in her water....
So I left and went to BW... where all my children were born...so much has changed
In labor now they let you drink and eat if you want,.... not I, I said... robbery...but anyway...this isnt about me, or is it... well of course it is, because my blog is about me...it is my space...enough though...
Arrived at BW and my baby DD was already in the triage where they access the situation,
was it bs, and would she be sent home, or was it really something and she would be kept...
DD was a keeper...
She was moved into a room with a hospital bed with removable parts, so she would be able to deliver in the room, the room also contained two chairs, one sleeper chair, the was not at all comfortable to sit on, and one chair that ended up being my chair that was not too bad for sitting on, but for sleeping on, or napping on it as I did, well ...it could not mold or stretch out so... to say the least... it bit me a few times...but
anyway...DD was doing ok, having contractions, but she had contractions in her back and she was very uncomfortable....
she changed into her old nightgown she brought because she thought she could do that...and she could for a while === until the reality that things don't always turn out the way you think they are going to turn out happened and it did happen...and it happened to her....
The hospital staff was sloooowwww in starting her on pit...which is what they give to try to kick up labor..but of course...it was 3 pm by this time....and Dj, her mate was late, and her friend, Kitty, i'll call her was taking the bus in from NYC... it was going to be a fun time...
DD would get to labor easily, take showers, and drink juice, and sit on a labor ball... but the reality was
After almost two days of laboring, Dd had two internal monitors, a catheter, oxygen mask, an epidural attachment, 4 different fluids in her IV, saline, antibiotics,2 types---- just in case because they thought she had an infection, and pit, she was as I say wired up ...and she needed to stay in bed..plus she could not move from her right side or the baby would go into stress and his heart beat would disappear...
they tried 3 times to have her go into heavy contractions, but it wasn;t happening...
Dr Feinberg came in and strecthed her to see if that would help kick things along and he even said that baby had coned... he was right there...and Dianna was in a lot of pain....so it was decided that a c section would be done...and that was postponed 3 times too because of different reasons... i just highly recommend that if one is having a child that person should skip the midwife clinic and go to a private because At the end of all this I ended up getting pretty upset and my daughter was completly exhauted, both physically and emotionally..and needless to say, so was I.
But the best part is that Alastair was born, healthy even though he did have to spend a few hours in the baby ICU because he was having a little trouble breathing but now he seems ok and even though my daughter has some how become atheiest in her 21 years, I prayed and I do pray because every little bit helps.
with love I must say thank you to all those who so generously shared their support and gave to my daughter and myself and my family.... so much to write...so many pictures to upload... but i'll give it a try...
tonight i'll write
tomorrow I'll load...some and i'll try not to be too long with it all...
on the 22nd of June I woke at 430 am...dressed, went to work, did my floor, but was a bit out of tune....as...
It really all started there...on Wednesday at work, my rush
Jimmy G --- came to me,his cell phone in hand.... my husband was on the phone, Dd has to go to the hospital right away, she has merconium in her water....
So I left and went to BW... where all my children were born...so much has changed
In labor now they let you drink and eat if you want,.... not I, I said... robbery...but anyway...this isnt about me, or is it... well of course it is, because my blog is about me...it is my space...enough though...
Arrived at BW and my baby DD was already in the triage where they access the situation,
was it bs, and would she be sent home, or was it really something and she would be kept...
DD was a keeper...
She was moved into a room with a hospital bed with removable parts, so she would be able to deliver in the room, the room also contained two chairs, one sleeper chair, the was not at all comfortable to sit on, and one chair that ended up being my chair that was not too bad for sitting on, but for sleeping on, or napping on it as I did, well ...it could not mold or stretch out so... to say the least... it bit me a few times...but
anyway...DD was doing ok, having contractions, but she had contractions in her back and she was very uncomfortable....
she changed into her old nightgown she brought because she thought she could do that...and she could for a while === until the reality that things don't always turn out the way you think they are going to turn out happened and it did happen...and it happened to her....
The hospital staff was sloooowwww in starting her on pit...which is what they give to try to kick up labor..but of course...it was 3 pm by this time....and Dj, her mate was late, and her friend, Kitty, i'll call her was taking the bus in from NYC... it was going to be a fun time...
DD would get to labor easily, take showers, and drink juice, and sit on a labor ball... but the reality was
After almost two days of laboring, Dd had two internal monitors, a catheter, oxygen mask, an epidural attachment, 4 different fluids in her IV, saline, antibiotics,2 types---- just in case because they thought she had an infection, and pit, she was as I say wired up ...and she needed to stay in bed..plus she could not move from her right side or the baby would go into stress and his heart beat would disappear...
they tried 3 times to have her go into heavy contractions, but it wasn;t happening...
Dr Feinberg came in and strecthed her to see if that would help kick things along and he even said that baby had coned... he was right there...and Dianna was in a lot of pain....so it was decided that a c section would be done...and that was postponed 3 times too because of different reasons... i just highly recommend that if one is having a child that person should skip the midwife clinic and go to a private because At the end of all this I ended up getting pretty upset and my daughter was completly exhauted, both physically and emotionally..and needless to say, so was I.
But the best part is that Alastair was born, healthy even though he did have to spend a few hours in the baby ICU because he was having a little trouble breathing but now he seems ok and even though my daughter has some how become atheiest in her 21 years, I prayed and I do pray because every little bit helps.
For my dear Daughter, my baby
Labor
for dd's labor and delivery
and the birth of Alastair Anthony
Bells bells all I hear are bells
bells the bleep beep mAchine
wired-- you're the keep.
Bells bong as big ben is broken
night into dawn --- bells
bells bing bong ping
pong from here to chair
to bed then ears and snared.
Bells bells not from the Dell
chime away calling
the nurses come -- nurses stay
bells bells bells
pressure low not pressed tight,
Pressure go from day through night
low
low cuff no help,
higher with the doctors help.
Quiet bells, quiet site, drapery hanging
in the light, quiet want, quiet eyes,
tears drip silent
want delight
clips do not clatter, knife does not scrap
beep beep beep beep
soothing steady beep beep
ears perched, sweet call waiting to hear a
cry, beep beep beep beep,
not a peep, but then
in the quiet, a small wah and then another
Doctors ooooo oooooing, nurses awwww awing,
mother soooo waiting, wanting
Hand held tight, then tighter still
Words not soothing,
eyes not seeing, trying to peek beyond,
Listening waiting, mother anxious,
she seeks him, then sees him,
her eyes employ
he is
Alastair, her child, her newborn boy.
_jw 6.11
for dd's labor and delivery
and the birth of Alastair Anthony
Bells bells all I hear are bells
bells the bleep beep mAchine
wired-- you're the keep.
Bells bong as big ben is broken
night into dawn --- bells
bells bing bong ping
pong from here to chair
to bed then ears and snared.
Bells bells not from the Dell
chime away calling
the nurses come -- nurses stay
bells bells bells
pressure low not pressed tight,
Pressure go from day through night
low
low cuff no help,
higher with the doctors help.
Quiet bells, quiet site, drapery hanging
in the light, quiet want, quiet eyes,
tears drip silent
want delight
clips do not clatter, knife does not scrap
beep beep beep beep
soothing steady beep beep
ears perched, sweet call waiting to hear a
cry, beep beep beep beep,
not a peep, but then
in the quiet, a small wah and then another
Doctors ooooo oooooing, nurses awwww awing,
mother soooo waiting, wanting
Hand held tight, then tighter still
Words not soothing,
eyes not seeing, trying to peek beyond,
Listening waiting, mother anxious,
she seeks him, then sees him,
her eyes employ
he is
Alastair, her child, her newborn boy.
_jw 6.11
New baby
Alastair is here. DD suffering a little bit. Emergency csection. I am so tired. So emotional. Will write lots later
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Still at the hospital
A little freaked out. A lot over tired. I pray for my daughter and her child. God give them strength and keep them healthy. It is scary going through this. Just friggen scary
Still at hospital
Long day for my dear Dd. Long labor unlike mine. Have to bite my tongue a lot. Oh well
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
June 22...
How did this happen, nearly a month has gone by...finally off antibiotics and still a small lump in my elbow... arghhh...next week to the drs and then we shall go from there... a bit depressed about it. my leg is doing ok, i just get tired and my back is sore... being off the humira i think is good for me, ive actually lost 5 lbs... so it was probably that drug that was putting weight on me...back to work and just continuing on ..what more can i do...waiting for the baby to decide to come... soon i hope.
used to have a video link now missing must do more research cant believe how little time i have boo hoo
used to have a video link now missing must do more research cant believe how little time i have boo hoo
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Mom's Day
The weekend was like a day -- was one of sunshine from beginning to end... It began with the Bruins winning the cup and Mom's beautiful birthday bash. Who could ask for more?
June 20th
still waiting for Remy... when will he decide to come... soon i hope... Took pics that I have to post... unfortunately no time to do so...day off..swimming ...rug cleaning.and keeping the burning foot happy..whoya...
loving life
loving life
the Great Birthday
Started out decorating Mom's cake... then the ride... then the cake melted and everyone took it in stride for a great Happy Birthday tune and a Sun that was to sing to... Happy Birthday Mom ... it was a great celebration on Saturday with the bruins too... What a weekend... even with work! Pictures tell the story.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day
Really fighting back the tears today. I still miss my Dad after all these years. My kids are doing ok and that is ok, but Dad...
Today we will celebrate Mom's 84th birthday. It has been such a horrible year for her, she deserves diamonds and clouds to lay on, she deserves sweet ness and hugs and kisses until she says I dont want anymore.
I am sooo happy she is home. She was so sad when she was away her voice broke my heart. I'll never forget the "If I have to live like this I don't know--" I am so broken hearted in so many ways...but in others I will survive and just go on. But My Mom... God I just love her and I dont ever want her to go away ...ever
Today we will celebrate Mom's 84th birthday. It has been such a horrible year for her, she deserves diamonds and clouds to lay on, she deserves sweet ness and hugs and kisses until she says I dont want anymore.
I am sooo happy she is home. She was so sad when she was away her voice broke my heart. I'll never forget the "If I have to live like this I don't know--" I am so broken hearted in so many ways...but in others I will survive and just go on. But My Mom... God I just love her and I dont ever want her to go away ...ever
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Bruins, Bears, and Sports
Congradulations to the Boston Bruins! May every player be blessed by their hard work and never ending agility. They worked hard and it paid off. Tim Thomas is a superhero and do I need to say any more. HOORAY!!! bring on their parade....
Reading last night --- only three of the Bruins are actually us citizens. They are mostly canadians..ok.. What a difference since I was a child when I watched the best of them. I actually got to watch Bobby Orr and Phil Espisito, Ken Hodge, Gerry Cheever, Derek Sanderson and more I can't think of, and I watched Carl Yaz... and George Scott and Tony Conigliaro ex spelling dont have a lot of time here..baseball...
But growing up with a Dad who loved sports, and only 1 tv, I learned to love sports and my Dad didnt care if I asked him question either about the games, how else was I to learn.
Sports
Westerns
Cop shows
News
that was it
My Mom taught me how to knit and sew and crochet and cook ..i best not forget about that... but tonight i will be baking her birthday cake...84 years old she made it. I am so happy.
Reading last night --- only three of the Bruins are actually us citizens. They are mostly canadians..ok.. What a difference since I was a child when I watched the best of them. I actually got to watch Bobby Orr and Phil Espisito, Ken Hodge, Gerry Cheever, Derek Sanderson and more I can't think of, and I watched Carl Yaz... and George Scott and Tony Conigliaro ex spelling dont have a lot of time here..baseball...
But growing up with a Dad who loved sports, and only 1 tv, I learned to love sports and my Dad didnt care if I asked him question either about the games, how else was I to learn.
Sports
Westerns
Cop shows
News
that was it
My Mom taught me how to knit and sew and crochet and cook ..i best not forget about that... but tonight i will be baking her birthday cake...84 years old she made it. I am so happy.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Have it
I've got this app but it really sucks. Tired during my days. Foot on fire off and on. Sometimes ok but the ins make me exhausted. My elbow is finally feeling cured. Thank god no surgery. At least I am hoping. Next week will tell being on antibiotics for over a month has played havoc with my stomach.
Tomorrow make moms cake. And I have to go to babies are us. So much to do.
Tomorrow make moms cake. And I have to go to babies are us. So much to do.
mobile blog
mobile blog is working for texting but not for pics...boo hoo... i wonder..i will keep on trying... hot flashes severe this am... stressed obviously... pool going, johnny is back around and i just love him so... all is right in the world
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Exhausted
So tired tonight ii came home did diner helped with the pool and had my Johnny here but sooooo grouchy. Fell asleep to wake up after 11. Crazy great day. So much happiness and exhaustion in the city. Gotta love it
And they Won!!!
The Bruins are number one today! They won the Stanley Cup, the creme de la creme of Trophies for Hockey. And it was awesome how they won, they skated and played their pants off. What a game! Thank you Boston Bruins. You are number 1... Thank you
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
frustration
hummm trying to figure out how to blog from my phone..... i think that would really be fun and i would blog lots more...not that anyone reads this stuff, but i like doing it. ive looked at other blogs and some are still going ...some have disappeared and moved on. i'm just hanging in here and still trying to get a mobile product working...will try other idea.... don't give up
Monday, June 13, 2011
june 13
really tired today... Mom's birthday which is wonderful
so happy she is home in her own house. this weekend is her party...
i am not feeling well...but off i go to work.
drs later... foot and back a little weak and this makes me nervous... good weekend with the kids except for dianna working over my head all night has given me a headache...ouch...do not like it.
so happy she is home in her own house. this weekend is her party...
i am not feeling well...but off i go to work.
drs later... foot and back a little weak and this makes me nervous... good weekend with the kids except for dianna working over my head all night has given me a headache...ouch...do not like it.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Summer Rain
It isnt summer let, yet for days it was, heat and humidity, cook outs and lethergy
the night has brought cooler air and pitter pats, humming wind, and trickling of a river with out borders to my ears
i wake unable to sleep
pitter patter of childs feet
and I wonder, maybe it would be better in Florida, at least for the winter.
the night has brought cooler air and pitter pats, humming wind, and trickling of a river with out borders to my ears
i wake unable to sleep
pitter patter of childs feet
and I wonder, maybe it would be better in Florida, at least for the winter.
some thoughts
some how in my head this week I can't get the thinking out... that some people are mean, just mean. And mean people are evil.
It is unbelievable that I know people who actually feel good when they are mean to other people. They are twisted in their thinking and justify their actions of cruelty and rudeness with defensiveness.
I am making it a point to not have these types of people in my life. I would never ignore anyone because he or she was mad at me. I would never tell my mother to go fuck herself either if she spoke her mind....and I would never pawn my kid off to someone else because I'd rather have a good time drinking for myself.
Do I judge others, yes I do when that other deliberately ignores me and hurts me, yes, I judge people that do that to be cruel hence they are evil.
It is unbelievable that I know people who actually feel good when they are mean to other people. They are twisted in their thinking and justify their actions of cruelty and rudeness with defensiveness.
I am making it a point to not have these types of people in my life. I would never ignore anyone because he or she was mad at me. I would never tell my mother to go fuck herself either if she spoke her mind....and I would never pawn my kid off to someone else because I'd rather have a good time drinking for myself.
Do I judge others, yes I do when that other deliberately ignores me and hurts me, yes, I judge people that do that to be cruel hence they are evil.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 09, 2011
june coming along
the pool is coming along
my back is coming along
the baby stuff is coming along
my mom is coming along
work is coming along
my medication is coming along
the cat is coming along
some things are not coming at all...
my back is coming along
the baby stuff is coming along
my mom is coming along
work is coming along
my medication is coming along
the cat is coming along
some things are not coming at all...
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
tomorrow is the test
Tomorrow I will hobble back to work, part time at least for now, I really dont know how many hours I will be able to work, hopefully 5 or six... it just sucks...
who ever heard of an infection in a bursa that needs to be operated on if it doesnt clear up, of course Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, but they are football players and it was in the bursa of the knee... bus says he learns something new everytime something is wrong with me.
blah is what i say, blah blah blah
i have so much to do and no motivation... i really have to get myself together.
who ever heard of an infection in a bursa that needs to be operated on if it doesnt clear up, of course Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, but they are football players and it was in the bursa of the knee... bus says he learns something new everytime something is wrong with me.
blah is what i say, blah blah blah
i have so much to do and no motivation... i really have to get myself together.
Saturday, June 04, 2011
just some thoughts
it's saturday night and the Bub is here sleeping over... he gives me so much joy... the little things he says and does
today he went to the movies with his mom and dad... as today was their family day and they went to see Pirates of the Carribean... and he liked it and only had to leave the theatre once because he was scared of the mermaid...
but he came yesterday in his red suit, the shorts and top i bought him and then he puts on his tony hawk pjs that i bought him too. i did of course let him pick them out and he just loves them and wants to wear them all the time. i just love him so
he is such a blessing
now pretty soon we will be having another blessing in the family a new little baby and i cant wait til he is here...
come on baby Remy... grammy is waiting for you
bus isnt feeling very well i think he has the flu the others had...i hope i dont get it as i have so much other crap going on...
i want to go back to work even if i dont get the block i think i could manage but i have to wait until the elbow biospy and all that gets settled
but i did make some killer chili today the best ive ever made i think ... and cornbread for Di and she loved it
Mom is doing well since arriving back home and she is doing more stuff for herself which is what she needs to do to get stronger
thank you God for watching over us
today he went to the movies with his mom and dad... as today was their family day and they went to see Pirates of the Carribean... and he liked it and only had to leave the theatre once because he was scared of the mermaid...
but he came yesterday in his red suit, the shorts and top i bought him and then he puts on his tony hawk pjs that i bought him too. i did of course let him pick them out and he just loves them and wants to wear them all the time. i just love him so
he is such a blessing
now pretty soon we will be having another blessing in the family a new little baby and i cant wait til he is here...
come on baby Remy... grammy is waiting for you
bus isnt feeling very well i think he has the flu the others had...i hope i dont get it as i have so much other crap going on...
i want to go back to work even if i dont get the block i think i could manage but i have to wait until the elbow biospy and all that gets settled
but i did make some killer chili today the best ive ever made i think ... and cornbread for Di and she loved it
Mom is doing well since arriving back home and she is doing more stuff for herself which is what she needs to do to get stronger
thank you God for watching over us
Friday, June 03, 2011
Thursday, June 02, 2011
June 3
24 days til i am a new grandmother ... could be sooner could be later... i would prefer sooner... nerve block scheduled for next week... better sooner than later..
Mom made it
home dispite tornados just crazy crazy
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
mom coming home
Dianna is a designer and she should be proud of her work...the above copyrightDCW2011
Mom is coming home...of course there has to be tornado warnings... pray pray pray
went out with B to the drs. my wbc 8.9 whooppee on line for the nerve block and back to life. the end of this up and down stuff... relief in a number
i suppose it comes all too quickly
still have not taken that walk down to the corner but am contemplating it still...
must write my thank you notes etc
once this is done i should be all set. build on the positive forget the negative and work within the possibilities
cant sleep
between cheetah nails and window sills with flowers
and cards and thrills
and prayers i give thanks to all who have prayed for me over the past couple of weeks
it truly has been grace given to me by others that has enabled me to keep myself together.. and even though i am weak and i am going to try to walk to the store tomorrow that will be a hugh feat on my part and then some
God give me strength... i can't believe the condition in the front of my house and the fact that my plants are dead.... how horrible a spring just how much deader could they be...ouch..
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