sometimes my dreams prepare me for my future, so last night I had the dream of searching for my son, here, there, everywhere I've known him to be, and nothing. So that says to me, that I dont really want to find him, because I dont want to know him right now. The reunion would be one of sword thrusting in .... and slowing being withdrawn... that is how it would be.
i finally told my mother that i wouldnt be going to the cape for turkey day, we will stay home and relax, i need more relaxation time fighting this bug doesnt help my energy level. she said, you know you have to live your life, and i have said that myself, but i have no energy for driving when i only have the one day off.... i dont know if f has more time or not, and he doesnt even know if he has the time either. i put in for time after xmas that i wasnt going to take, but i might take one less day, i cant decide. i am just really worn out i think and that is keeping me from doing other things. f has computer parts all over the place so i am trying to get his stuff together, it is a bit ridiculous as he should be doing it himself. work is okay, but friday bit as half the people didnt show up and well... that just makes it suck.
driving ro again, which isnt bad, but no more personal phone calls to friends and family ... she says she doesnt want to stay... so something might happen who knows.
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