light shines down on Gotham

November winds can be wild
windows are often kept closed
sun shines as if it is April
but it can be chilling

once bright colored leaves turn
brown and burnt orange once green lush
grass is yellow and rust
white and brights and strips
become tweeds and velour and brass

here is Gotham in the middle of the day
what could be gray cement and brick is
bright and light and waves our flag
here in Gotham in the middle of the day
Tis' God's light that blesses the way.

sillyness

today I lounged around exhausted from nothing. i knitted and made a reservation to go to nyc on the bus for 14.50. I am going alone. This is a brave venture but one i've often thought of embarking upon. i am going to be able to do what i want to do when i want to do it.... no one else bossing me about. no one whinning... not that every time i've gone to Gotham i havent had the grandest of times, but I am looking forward to just taking this one day trip for myself before i go back to work...

i made soup and grilled cheese for dinner and hubby was happy with that... I really needed to go shopping having no milk for coffee or tea just put me out all day...still i was too lazy to walk the miles to the stop and shop and it just felt too cold out... so after dinner i took a nap and woke at 9... then i went food shopping.... i bought an eye roast that i foolishly put in the oven at 11:30 thinking that it would be easier to cook it tonight than tomorrow as i have my post op appointment...but now it is nearly 1 and i am exhausted again....
when i came in from food shopping i made banana bread and banana muffins... hubby eats a banana a day and they do turn and once they start turning i usually throw them away or in the freezer for later to make banana something...but this time i just decided to make the banana bread when i came in from shopping...which i did...and the roast...which should be nearly done...

we've had no luck with the car situation so i suppose hubby will be off next week looking for a car because the next week is Thanksgiving and I dont know how he plans on getting things done unless he is with me or i have a car. and then i will be going back to work...so... i pray a car turns my way...in a positive way..

i best go check on that roast and see if the sand man will come visit....

only two hot flashes today that i can remember... one last about 20 minutes and went from my thights to my arm to my nose... and dizziness came today too.... arghhh... other wise i am feeling great just have to find out about the lifting ... tomorrow will tell what i can and cannot do....

another thought about time ....as it is forever the thread and the rhyme
it does not wither and it does not run although it is running
it does not ever leave nor does it breath although it is life
it does not tell nor does it hold nor does it keep secrets because it does not know
it has not knowledge or voice or the ability to hear or communicate in anyway
we give it life with the clock
we give it existence with our acknowledgment
how much time is like love and hope and fear and faith
but we give time a face.

just the thought for this moment.

flash

Hot flashes are strange sensations that feel like someone threw a cup of pepper on my face sometimes
on my shoulders sometimes
on my belly sometimes
on the back of my neck sometimes
on my thighs sometimes

they do not travel but start off in a space and burst like a splash of sun or fire or hot rain...
my nose sometimes sweats.

they are not very uncomfortable
but they are here none the less

i do not want to entertain the thought of going on estrogen when estrogen increases the chances of cancer... and well that was one of the reasons why i had the operation in the first place... to decrease my chances considering that they could not really see what was going on in there or determine because the diagnositic tests were conclusive but inconclusive at the same time...

well i guess i will talk with the dr on Friday at my post op.
For now I will enjoy my tea and continue knitting.

yahoo day

I received the results of my pathology reports and they came back benign... thank God. I was a little worried after the surgeon said it was the right decision.

on a surprise note, hubby bought me the iphone 3gs which has the new video camera in it...soooo cool.... and of course numerous other features i have yet to figure out. I am exhausted though and should be napping instead of playing techie to this thing.

from chick to turkey... and beyond

This is making me nuts.... I have so many things I want to do and my patience is wearing thin. I pulled a chair over to a cupboard today, emptied it, washed it out, relined it and put the stuff back in.... bad bad I supposed ....I only did the top two shelves and then I was exhausted. no stamina.

Yesterday, I laughed so hard that my belly hurt.... and it wasn't even that I laughed that hard...I just didnt realize that my insides would be telling me -- hey you are healing in here be kind....but

I had a good laugh at my husband who thinks he is Mr. Wonderful... and he is sometimes, but.... I do all the shopping and rearranging in the cupboards...and yesterday we did alot of shopping and bought canned items.... So they were stacked on the chair, because I am still in the no lifting mode...and Fred said,
"There is no room for all this stuff." And I said, "Of course there is, things just have to be re-arranged. I just can't do the rearranging right now." And I went to go out of the kitchen, but I heard Fred mumble, "Just do as I say."

I laughed to myself, and I turned to him and asked, "What did you say?" and He said, "Nothing." And I kept laughing inside, but I knew he was being snide to me, so I said,"I heard you say it. --- Just do as I say." and I cracked up laughing, because I hadn't said that at all, but I guess I got my point across....

It is the little things that get taken for granted... the cleaning out the refridgerator every Monday night, the re-arranging of the cupboard to keep things old to the front and new in the back. The mere changing of the hand towel in the bathroom daily, and new tooth paste when the tube is just not worth squishing any more.... the quick washing of the bathroom to keep it fresh and clean, the swiffer on the steps and over the floors ... no fur balls accummulating anywhere...the throwing away of useless unending clutter that seems to accummulate from no where... clothing that is 10 -5 years old?
... who makes the determination to dispose of this stuff.... in my house, me. So... Everytime I think of my hubby struggling to arrange the canned goods, I remind myself that it isn't his job, and the stuff isn't even things we eat, like chef boyardee ravi... it's for the kids, they should have the job of putting the stuff away.... that would make much more sense.... but then it wouldn't get done.... or else it would be eaten alot faster because right now they do not know the stuff is there. So I keep laughing about his little joke, and wish it were true, that what I commanded was followed through... That must be what it is like to be a Queen... hummm
I've finally made it.

On another note, I took the chick pattern and created a turkey out of it. It was fun and took only a bit of my imagination, but if it had to do it again, I do not know if I could as I didn't keep any pattern.

Oh well!... Steph wants to go to NYC for Thanksgiving. I do not think Fred is going to bite. boohooo.... I wouldn't mind going again!