or thoughts that dont let me sleep
my son is talking about joining the service
my other son is on the edge of i dont know what
my daughter is getting ready to go back to school and
my husband and i will be leaving on a vacation
thinking about my growning up kids keeps me awake, so at times, like every night
i cant think --
i cant think about the iraq war because i cant stop it, nor can i do anything to help the people over there stop fighting with themselves, and it disgust me how so many wars and fights are about land and religion, oil and money
i dont understand why mankind ...cant get along. i know i could read a zillion articles on why and why not, but i dont care to. it is like my kids, no excuses, but they have them and it is just the way of the world. i am sick of listening to the rhetoric. I am tired of hearing my son say, there it goes world war III and i do mean sick for when i think of him joining the service, my stomach turns inside out and i want to heave; what if he does? I will live with it, but will i like it? no.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
nervous but happy
my manager asked me today if i like it there... yes i do i said... he asked about the commute, it is ok i said too... i dont really care coz i like it there... he said he is putting up two jobs, "make sure you put in" that makes me happy. It will make Fred happy to as I will get a raise.
ON the home front I miss my grandsons... The little tyke is hardly ever around, but I am just not saying anything...and my Johnnycake is with his Dad... I am going to arrange something so I can see the lad.
Labor day weekend is just around the corner, then I work 1 day and have two weeks off...yahoooo....
My sis is in Tex. I didnt get to call her today, things have just been too crazy at work, I'll call her tomorrow and check in on her, I wish I had a transporter, life would be wonderful... I'll just keep one spot reserved for her in my thought at every moment to give her strength to just get through the next few days. you are not alone...
went to the dot art opening... it was great, the kids' work was really good, but no sculpture this year which was too bad. saw kb from the joiner center.... he was great, Gee I miss the Joiner Center arghhh... oh well btb... early to work as today I left too much undone...
God please make it so my sister doesnt have to have surgery and she gets a clean bill... please please please, I am thanking you ahead of time as I have trust in the universe --- me...
ON the home front I miss my grandsons... The little tyke is hardly ever around, but I am just not saying anything...and my Johnnycake is with his Dad... I am going to arrange something so I can see the lad.
Labor day weekend is just around the corner, then I work 1 day and have two weeks off...yahoooo....
My sis is in Tex. I didnt get to call her today, things have just been too crazy at work, I'll call her tomorrow and check in on her, I wish I had a transporter, life would be wonderful... I'll just keep one spot reserved for her in my thought at every moment to give her strength to just get through the next few days. you are not alone...
went to the dot art opening... it was great, the kids' work was really good, but no sculpture this year which was too bad. saw kb from the joiner center.... he was great, Gee I miss the Joiner Center arghhh... oh well btb... early to work as today I left too much undone...
God please make it so my sister doesnt have to have surgery and she gets a clean bill... please please please, I am thanking you ahead of time as I have trust in the universe --- me...
Monday, August 21, 2006
do not have a pop up blocker working and
then set it free, or you will end up like me at this moment, pissed off because you lost whatever it is was you had written...arghhh.....
i am the you in this ..or just a yew at this moment, bleastly...
come on Red Sox Come on!!!!
i am the you in this ..or just a yew at this moment, bleastly...
come on Red Sox Come on!!!!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
The Red Wing (to be worked on later)
At the Red Wing
before the age when I could remember what age I was, my uncle who is now in his 80's and on dialysis, and my aunt, who passed away this summer, took their family and me, the tag along, to the Red Wing. That diner dinner remains a vivid memory, and the Red Wing, a place that I will never let go of, as long as it remains there, for I always manage to have the whim and will to go there. I have over the years, dragged family members along: come be a part of the Red Wing clan.
At the time of the dinner, back in the early 60's, my cousin, who fell off her bike and died at age 10, an example of why they have helmet laws, was still alive. Also, my cousin, who died at 25, in a small plane crash, was still alive; we were nearly the same age. And my cousin, who is still alive, the sisters' older brother, whom I always thought was strange, was there, he still lives near there with his father in the old house, I remember as a great place, where the wonders of nature, and life, and change touched me then and still remain.
At the Red Wing,
We sat at a table in the middle of the room, and had great food, I dont remember what it was, and my cousin, the strange one, used so many napkins, that the waitress brought him a stack 3 inches high, and my female cousins and I were laughing. Something else went array at that dinner, but I dont remember what it was, all I remember was that it was a marvelous time.
I had a lot of great times at my cousins' house when I was growing up, and it is sad now, as my aunt is gone, and my uncle is ill, and their son, the strange one, has no one but himself to carry things on. But his parents suffered in this life, not for loss of material, but from loss of lives, having two children of their three children taken from them. I think how different things would be now, if neither of them had passed on, and how the only memory that remains strong that I will have access to will be that Red Wing restaurant, for I havent been to their old house in years, nearly 20 years it seems to me, but so many memories from those days come back to me.
But the Red Wing ---
Back then I thought the place was old, a throw back from another time, wooden chairs at wooden tables, covered by laminate, not formica, but another material, that was the seating area up. Then there was not a makeshift wall of painted lattice to separate the one big room into two sections, nor was the wallpaper a marbled blue. But the ketchup squeezers, and tartar sauce squeezers,and metal napkin holders remain the same, as does the salt and pepper shakers, and the ladies room, that I never make it to, and the men's room, my husband doesn't go into because there are no doors on the stalls; I wonder if it was that way back then, I do not know, but the man finds the restroom uncomfortable. Soooo....
The Red Wing though, is famous, famous for old time prices, and really great food. No decor, but a good time. And the same waitresses, they've been working there for all time. It is like you walk into this place and there they are, two old women, one with white hair, the other dyed brown, both in need of dental repair, but kind, and yet scary if you were a child and had never been there. I was wondering today as I left the place, is it bewitched? Have those women really worked there all those years and never changed? Are they in my mind that way, or truly, truly, is the Red Wing in a special place that no one else can see, only those who have been there as a child can get in there, and know it is there, for everyone else who drives route 1 there is a vacant lot there...no little red house with a wing? I wonder.
On the other side of the restaurant there is a bar. I wonder what part of the little house is the wing, the wing that has a restaurant or the wing that is a bar? They are both wings with a little room inbetween. Anyway...
That bar is ripe with stories galore, for the Red Wing always has customers, from the moment it opens til after the lock of the door. We never go into the bar side. I remember it from long ago when I first saw it, and the few times I've peeked behind the opening. It is like a trailer home, with no chairs, only barstools and standing room only. A mirror as long as the room, and a rich chocolate bar as long as that too, laden with bottles and glasses, ready to serve up customers. I really must make it a point to go in there --- some evening just to be sure.
One thing about the Red Wing, it is not too far from the stadium where the Patriots play,so I can only imagine how the place is hopping from September through January... as we only go there on occasion. a whim, and a ride, to have the one dish no restaurant serves up as fresh and over the top as they...
the fisherman's platter fills two, or even three--- that is the plate we order and divide.
So there it is the Red Wing... A little place not many know of, but it is a story, now it I can ever find the time to write it out right, is is a place of horror, or a place of love, or a place of divide. Is it a place of happy people old and young alike with the same memories, the Red Wing, a wing of life.
before the age when I could remember what age I was, my uncle who is now in his 80's and on dialysis, and my aunt, who passed away this summer, took their family and me, the tag along, to the Red Wing. That diner dinner remains a vivid memory, and the Red Wing, a place that I will never let go of, as long as it remains there, for I always manage to have the whim and will to go there. I have over the years, dragged family members along: come be a part of the Red Wing clan.
At the time of the dinner, back in the early 60's, my cousin, who fell off her bike and died at age 10, an example of why they have helmet laws, was still alive. Also, my cousin, who died at 25, in a small plane crash, was still alive; we were nearly the same age. And my cousin, who is still alive, the sisters' older brother, whom I always thought was strange, was there, he still lives near there with his father in the old house, I remember as a great place, where the wonders of nature, and life, and change touched me then and still remain.
At the Red Wing,
We sat at a table in the middle of the room, and had great food, I dont remember what it was, and my cousin, the strange one, used so many napkins, that the waitress brought him a stack 3 inches high, and my female cousins and I were laughing. Something else went array at that dinner, but I dont remember what it was, all I remember was that it was a marvelous time.
I had a lot of great times at my cousins' house when I was growing up, and it is sad now, as my aunt is gone, and my uncle is ill, and their son, the strange one, has no one but himself to carry things on. But his parents suffered in this life, not for loss of material, but from loss of lives, having two children of their three children taken from them. I think how different things would be now, if neither of them had passed on, and how the only memory that remains strong that I will have access to will be that Red Wing restaurant, for I havent been to their old house in years, nearly 20 years it seems to me, but so many memories from those days come back to me.
But the Red Wing ---
Back then I thought the place was old, a throw back from another time, wooden chairs at wooden tables, covered by laminate, not formica, but another material, that was the seating area up. Then there was not a makeshift wall of painted lattice to separate the one big room into two sections, nor was the wallpaper a marbled blue. But the ketchup squeezers, and tartar sauce squeezers,and metal napkin holders remain the same, as does the salt and pepper shakers, and the ladies room, that I never make it to, and the men's room, my husband doesn't go into because there are no doors on the stalls; I wonder if it was that way back then, I do not know, but the man finds the restroom uncomfortable. Soooo....
The Red Wing though, is famous, famous for old time prices, and really great food. No decor, but a good time. And the same waitresses, they've been working there for all time. It is like you walk into this place and there they are, two old women, one with white hair, the other dyed brown, both in need of dental repair, but kind, and yet scary if you were a child and had never been there. I was wondering today as I left the place, is it bewitched? Have those women really worked there all those years and never changed? Are they in my mind that way, or truly, truly, is the Red Wing in a special place that no one else can see, only those who have been there as a child can get in there, and know it is there, for everyone else who drives route 1 there is a vacant lot there...no little red house with a wing? I wonder.
On the other side of the restaurant there is a bar. I wonder what part of the little house is the wing, the wing that has a restaurant or the wing that is a bar? They are both wings with a little room inbetween. Anyway...
That bar is ripe with stories galore, for the Red Wing always has customers, from the moment it opens til after the lock of the door. We never go into the bar side. I remember it from long ago when I first saw it, and the few times I've peeked behind the opening. It is like a trailer home, with no chairs, only barstools and standing room only. A mirror as long as the room, and a rich chocolate bar as long as that too, laden with bottles and glasses, ready to serve up customers. I really must make it a point to go in there --- some evening just to be sure.
One thing about the Red Wing, it is not too far from the stadium where the Patriots play,so I can only imagine how the place is hopping from September through January... as we only go there on occasion. a whim, and a ride, to have the one dish no restaurant serves up as fresh and over the top as they...
the fisherman's platter fills two, or even three--- that is the plate we order and divide.
So there it is the Red Wing... A little place not many know of, but it is a story, now it I can ever find the time to write it out right, is is a place of horror, or a place of love, or a place of divide. Is it a place of happy people old and young alike with the same memories, the Red Wing, a wing of life.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
quiet house
at midnight the hiding mouse can come out
at 4 am when the clock rings out
not a breath is missed
nor the shuffle of feet passing by as i sleep
at 6 he says good bye, have a wonderful day
at 7 i pick up my head and see the numbers on the clock
i lie there awake listening for the dog and birds and an alarm to ring inside my head,
get out of bed, there is not a child, nor a beastie, nor a man, nor a book calling me, quiet house, empty head holds one exception, one thought, how everything is changing, which is not a quiet thought at all, it is quite the thought, very very involved.
at 4 am when the clock rings out
not a breath is missed
nor the shuffle of feet passing by as i sleep
at 6 he says good bye, have a wonderful day
at 7 i pick up my head and see the numbers on the clock
i lie there awake listening for the dog and birds and an alarm to ring inside my head,
get out of bed, there is not a child, nor a beastie, nor a man, nor a book calling me, quiet house, empty head holds one exception, one thought, how everything is changing, which is not a quiet thought at all, it is quite the thought, very very involved.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
back to work
I went back to work after being off 7 days; it seemed only like one --- i didnt achieve much of anything, but i did get to the beach for a day, and another new car, a 1991 honda accord, which is in great shape, and more to my liking than the contour. it was weird because i didnt even have to complain about the contour, f just returned it on his own, he knew without me saying a word that the car was just not worth it.
i sent my sister a bday gift, i dont even know if she got it, and as of yet i havent gotten to talk to her, but i did call her today, a day late because yesterday was such a hectic day getting stuff done because I knew I was going back to work, by the time I looked at the phone it was midnight --- so there went my vacation.
i am so happy f is taking off the same two weeks as me in september. it is like wow, we have not spent two weeks together in years. my friend b at work was laughing, he said you two will be in the news. lol... i just laughed. i am so looking forward to our vacation together everything else seems secondary.
r is acting very strange, i cant even talk to him. i dont particularly like the barrel i am rolling around in. or the ripple in the lake it is floating in...That is my biggest stress right now, and it sucks.
tomorrow i will go to my mom's and the beach and just forget about everything. i even think no one wants to come with me so i will be going alone. how weird. how very weird. but it is ok by me. i dont mind being alone, i actually like it at times. must be my age, i like being with myself.
tomorrow is august 6th my friends b-day..i havent talked to her in nearly 1/2 a year. i will call her, it is her daughter's first wedding anniversary too. so that is a good thing for her.
then my brother's b-day and my nephews and my other brother's anniversary...and the baby's first birthday,and we will be away, but i am happy, because i just dont need the stress of it all.
it is odd when someone makes me crazy because of rudeness, or excuses, i say i just cant and wont be bothered, but in reality it is untrue for when someone lies to me it hurts, and when someone makes it flauntingly clear that he or she lacks appreciation or has an expectation beyond my own willingness to extend myself then... And there that ends it for me. i close myself off and say, hey so what! and that's life isnt it. sometimes it just sucks, but you try to maintain happiness regardless of the blueness or the greenness, greenness is jaded ness, at least today it is for me. Yellowness,right now i am purplness which is related to lochness, and Scottish or so i believe. now that ive rambled into foolish ness i am going to go ... enough is enough i do believe.
i sent my sister a bday gift, i dont even know if she got it, and as of yet i havent gotten to talk to her, but i did call her today, a day late because yesterday was such a hectic day getting stuff done because I knew I was going back to work, by the time I looked at the phone it was midnight --- so there went my vacation.
i am so happy f is taking off the same two weeks as me in september. it is like wow, we have not spent two weeks together in years. my friend b at work was laughing, he said you two will be in the news. lol... i just laughed. i am so looking forward to our vacation together everything else seems secondary.
r is acting very strange, i cant even talk to him. i dont particularly like the barrel i am rolling around in. or the ripple in the lake it is floating in...That is my biggest stress right now, and it sucks.
tomorrow i will go to my mom's and the beach and just forget about everything. i even think no one wants to come with me so i will be going alone. how weird. how very weird. but it is ok by me. i dont mind being alone, i actually like it at times. must be my age, i like being with myself.
tomorrow is august 6th my friends b-day..i havent talked to her in nearly 1/2 a year. i will call her, it is her daughter's first wedding anniversary too. so that is a good thing for her.
then my brother's b-day and my nephews and my other brother's anniversary...and the baby's first birthday,and we will be away, but i am happy, because i just dont need the stress of it all.
it is odd when someone makes me crazy because of rudeness, or excuses, i say i just cant and wont be bothered, but in reality it is untrue for when someone lies to me it hurts, and when someone makes it flauntingly clear that he or she lacks appreciation or has an expectation beyond my own willingness to extend myself then... And there that ends it for me. i close myself off and say, hey so what! and that's life isnt it. sometimes it just sucks, but you try to maintain happiness regardless of the blueness or the greenness, greenness is jaded ness, at least today it is for me. Yellowness,right now i am purplness which is related to lochness, and Scottish or so i believe. now that ive rambled into foolish ness i am going to go ... enough is enough i do believe.
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