June gone by

add a video hummm

This just cracks me up, I never noticed that I could upload a video... I am going to find one of my favorites and try it... It is not often in life that your kids do something by themselves and you get to spy on them, the grown children that is...One night Fred and I were some place I do not even know... sleeping or out or something and the kids the threesome as they are right now had a party of their own --- Just a dance party.... let me see if I can find it... all i know is that when I watched it I cried .... tears just because of the happiness... ...the youngest, not in the video, tape it...the older danced it... and ever time I watch it... I smile

june

Sacrifice isnt always giving yourself to the dragon...A sacrifice and be giving yourself to an Avatar --- for others to enjoy --- D' created of herself, very close to whom she can be sometimes, I found out today that she doesnt mind her own business, and the kids are getting older and boy are they making life interesting.

Today was a horrid day, while sorting out clothes in the back closet I suddenly thought, hummm the walk way has to go, so that with that, MM took the sledge hammer and away it went... then the trip to Lowe's and the decisions and the parade in between, St took the kids, thank goodness but I missed the fun with them, however the walk way was ever more pressing, and as Fred says, I start more projects and have more things going at once, yes yes I do, but it will get finished is my reply quicker... and i do manage to get things finished soooo ---hahah..stop me now --- dream on dream on... and how I wish I could but time is passing by and here I am at this computer instead of working within my plan.

Surprisingly enough the new medication seems to be helping my legs, I just hate the thought that i could be messing with my heart... oh well, if i cant walk what is the sense of beating about any way, my heart beating....and that is just how i feel --- if i cant keep going just put me in the ground --

Tomorrow D graduates and embarks on a new journey, just as Fred and I ....11 weeks non smoking ---- a reason for a big party..oh yes it is. Hooray for Fred!!

keep it going on.

The pool should be ready by weeks end, and then the fun begins, everything is moving along as planned.... Mom's b day is next Saturday... I wonder if I can get out of work early, oh well must remember to mail a card and something else if I can't...
cant wait til tomorrow...Yahoo Dianna!!!

My oh my

It is May 29th, the month is almost gone... I dont know where time has flown just that every day I am so busy I dont have any extra time. The mall closes now at 9 am which is just too early for me why does the world not have anything for night owls... Fred has quit smoking for 9 weeks now..it is awesome..no more stinky Papa and the savings is great....but the money seems to get soaked up by others at all times.... D is graduating the 8th and her party is Father's day, I have yet to get the invitations in the mail ...tonight tonight i say.... lethergic from leg pain --- I really need something to help with this crap...i will call the dr next week as she should be back from vacation. otherwise all is going well... quiet and i would just like some time off of work or to not have to work my ns days would be great... had a bad week for going to the gym, but i will get back to it tomorrow and try to get in the swing of things...

such is life... just bored i guess ....why cant i just relax...

living on the edge

a trip to washington with my grandson, and what a whirlwind tour we took

Tuesday

Who wants a ferret? I've never wanted a ferret but somehow we have one, a ferret obviously my daughter loves. He is stinky sometimes, and that I do not like at all, but all pets are stinky at times from my observations.... he is cute, special Ed they call him --- or sometimes just Eddie.

The child

My youngest daughter has always had insight, insight into some of the harsher realities of life, insight into what is going on, now she has been accepted into Wheelock College, the place she says she really wants to go. She has a good plan, a five year master's degree in child life she says... so I say go for it, where all the money is going to come from I do not know yet, but we will get there some how. I went to look for a picture of her to post, instead I found this picture by her, strong in truth and tone, she is a multitalented woman, and I hope she never stops being who she is, but if only she had the wisdom that comes with age, oh my, she will be someone who places a mark in the world, even if i do say so myself being her mother.

tuesday

it is a tuesday, now my day off and i am enjoying it immensly... i have time to myself, no pressure from others ...do this for me, do that for me.... this is nice, i could get used to this.

awake at 2 am....

My hands are rough, spending too much time doing dishes, in water, and too much paper work...so much to do as it is...
work is a big mess
yesterdays snow storm and lack of personnel did not help...so be it, i am glad to have today off let someone else deal with it....

i will go to the gym and enjoy myself if possible...it sucks getting older why oh why

over the bridge

the world became gray because the clouds would not let the sun in
rain poured upon the earth and the earth clammered go away
its frozen tundra pooled the water and the wind waved
the bridge wrapped in plastic

driving over it
the gray dank world turned opaque white
green girders stetched above and below arms carrying
lifting above
gated,

don't stop -- if you do you will be crushed by moving
metal and rubber and plastic
ships below wait to swollow you
above you the crunching goes on
breath in
reach for the exit,
the ground gray world waits
and welcomes you back again

Frebrewaire

So the world goes round and round, people that pay their bills will continue to pay the rest of the worlds debt -- it is disgusting let's face it, there is nothing fair about what is happening in the world, the stock market deflats every single day, companies are selling off merchandise and do not have the funds to make more, outsourcing has taken jobs away from our own country and kids today cant even find jobs at mickeyd's --- dunkins here and there. so many people i know are working two jobs ....they are burnt out... and i am only burnt out from the one job where my boss is expecting me to do two jobs without saying so....

as it is....

took the Bub to see his Dad, what a sad day, he was happy, but it was weird and it must seem weird to the baby, Who sees someone through glass except grandparents visiting the new baby in the nursery. It just sucked. My son is depressed and he looks it, his tshirt was not iron and it hung off him, his face was not broken out which is good, but it was the same routine. I said, why dont you stay here at least it is clean, but he said no, he needs to get out of there, so i wonder what is really going on behind those locked doors, he doesnt say and that is scary, what is the truth, i will never know, he never tells me.

my daughter drives me nuts, she has less enery then my self, as after we got home she was napping on the sofa while i took care of the kids, i really really need to make a change


my sugar is still out of wack and i am really trying i have classes to go to and also have to get into a rythnm at the gym that should help

so i have it

Since I got sick in Ocotober I've been on a diabetic watch, now here it is, have it diabetes, I would love to be able to say my dr is wrong and went on a witch hunt to make sure i have it, but i can't. My sugar is off and has been for over a year, only this doctor chose to look and research, not ignore what it is, anyway friday to the drs again, and then i guess classes and medication, great. arghhhh

Ground Hog Day was Yesterday

and they didnt even mention it on the news. What is wrong with the world... A little ground hog, hedge hog or well I could be fresh here but I wont...

Ive got to go look up the prediction.

motivation

i have no motivation, and D,was supposed to be here and she left. well i will just go with that it is okay... today i do not need to stretch my self beyond where i am and i could have mindlessly, but i will let her try this and see what happens. all her college apps are in so now we are waiting... time is not so important but if she goes away to college then we will see what happens. oh well...

i am just going to take my shower here and go to work as usual, maybe i will go to the gym after wards

Goodbye January

Goodbye January 2009
I cannot say that this has been a good month,
but then again I can't say it has been a bad month.

I need change signifigant change, I need to get away from my boss who is a complete egomaniac and poor in communication. It is disturbing for me to know, to think what I think and not be able to voice my opinion. I have so many thoughts it is frightful, and it all goes back to the po way of f...n someone and certainly, nice people finish last. that is the fact of it all. I really really do not like having a boss that I cannot communicate with, he is smug and sarcastic, and i am grateful to not have to deal with him on the same level as I dealt with him before, not this person who is taking over my job, well, let me just say this, good luck to her, because that job really really sucks, i am glad i will not be working at hard and earning as much cash, how that doesnt sound like me but in reality that is the way it is going to be. thank you God, this may not seem right but it is the way it is going to be for awhile, i will be glad to be able to try to get away from him too, because who knows how long he is going to be in the position he is in, and i am just sick of it....so this is the ramblin on of my incomprehensible situation but yet a very postal situation. arghhhh i h t p o

me

january 22

Today is like no other day, exhausted from work ...12 hours again, no break in site really, i need a vacation. F is sick pneumonia.... too much.... and i have a zillion things to do besides... i hope today will be a better day. that's all

A prayer

I pray with tears held back by my jaw.


joy, relief, hope
today brings a new beginning,
everyone in this world can belong
get along.... better ....

I pray that thoughtful leadership breaks
the jail of prejudice and creates bonds
acceptance, hand and hand,
everyone hold on.

I pray that a child who is innocent
can face a future when the time for
understanding comes
a future that is less selfish
and more cooperative to get things done.

I pray that you and I
and he and she
and they come together with the goal
that we are one nation, one world, one mankind
with the ability to laugh, love and cry.

test

http://www.rainbowvideoandphoto.com/21088_7263.asp

avoiding going to work

this morning I wonder where the weekend went, well yes, i worked Saturday so that was 1/2 of it, and i have so much work to do at work I am avoiding it at all costs. It is just too crazy to continue but I will... back to the grind where I really dont want to be I would rather be home with the fam....but I am going in now to see what I can get accomplished which probably is not much.