My World

Momma

I feel you sometimes, I smell you sometimes,

It seems like you are touching me sometimes

I hurt sometimes, not because you have gone but 

Yes because you have gone to some place that I too 

Will go to someday, and it hurts not because I know some day I will go there too

But because 

I have this vacant space where we all come from and you have gone

That I filled with you

 

Space, this great frontier,

the light is always on for you to come visit me if you will

In a dream, in a spirit, in the innocence of a child

Like Scarlett who stuck her tongue out in the picture that day, 

She just reminded me of you.

I really try not to cry and actually I think I have been doing very well, except for

Yesterday and today, I guess I have been just too busy to see the vacancy light go on 

in

 

My world.  I don’t want to fill your space with anyone else’s

I don’t want to fill the time I had for you with anything or anyone else

I don’t want to stop sharing those moments 

I don’t want to stop having those thoughts, what would Mom like?

What does Mom need? What would Mom think? What can I surprise Mom with?

What would make Mom happy? What can I do to make things easier, better for Mom?

These thoughts are not suppositions. And I am sure that many have these thoughts

I have a vacancy, thoughts are filling it up but they are all for you Mom

 

10/19/2015