Just thoughts.

So many little lights little sprites taken from life by someone unsteady not crooked but unthinking We want to know why. I wish some one could have known and they could have been saved from it.
So sad at Christmas

Big Head Santa

Big head is ready to play Santa! Love this at ashmont t

Impatient

Can't wait to see hall and Oates tonight!

Bad

I can't stand the way the world works. People who use and abuse others my son is just an ass and the people I work with suck too.

Turkey Day

Sunday November 18

Everyone in the house sick with a bug... lots to do to get ready for the holiday.  No words can express the difficulty of this past month.  But I will go on the is a certainty... saw Babs the other day, she and I in the same in the same way different but the same, much as the rest from the party last night... not too much into the drinking seen and by the time i peeled away the skin from working...and became myself it was late in the night.  Watched Hope Springs with F.... he found the Tommy Lee Jones character difficult to connect to...much as I found Meryl Streeps character not to match me very much.... it just didn't apply to us    I am too out spoken and don't let things go and F he too I think.  Why be married> if you are living like you are alone?  that was the main question.  Fix it or it doesn't work yup that was it.  So the woman took charge.

Sounds like my job, lazy men who only want to do what has to be done nothing more...typical and none of them have an artistic or creative depth to them at all  They drive me nuts...and I wonder why I don't belong.
anyway a few photos will be fun to add today

hummm what shall i pick from

Ouch

November 16.

Down the cape

Saw a gorgeous red tree. Must photo later

Crying inside

There is not enough time in my days. They go by so quickly I just can't relax. Today there is snow on the ground not much but fresh. How nice it would be to just clean off the car and sip coffee while the sun comes up. Boo hoo for work

Ugh

Some people just suck!

Almost Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween. Have no energy. Oh well. Just broken hearted son coming out of his insanity. Drugs are evil

just going on

have no desire to go back an fix blogs posts that come off my phone, it is extremely difficult to post when you have no glasses on and you need them...or the glasses you own are not strong enough, and you refuse to up the correction because once you do you go up and up and up, eyes on drugs.  glasses

any way, they took him, im not sure what day because it is all a blur now, what a rough emotional week, lil r is here and not himself so i am sure he heard gossip some place, that's how little kids find out stuff that hurts, gossip---

so i am just dealing with it, happy he is not dead for the moment, but no phone call no anything...im just sad

going out to work on my garden and enjoy the fall weather.  it is just beautiful here
i love it

never mind the fact the my br is a jerk, i wont get into it, people just don't want to give up anything now a days.

Sleeve

Just a few days that I would live to expose my heart and not cover it up with other wishes or dreams or desires or fears but no one around me could stand me if I were to bare my soul do much pain

Can't sleep

The day has been long. Didn't do much. Stomach churning like electric. Nerves just shot wondering how much longer this is going to go on. Stress.

Happy Birthday

Johnny is 14 today.  We are having chocolate cake with chocolate twirls and pizza.... It is just a hard day.  Johnny is good...
R is not so good.  so sad.  I think he is on a trip to the never land forever.  it is so awful I am just miserable, to top it off my mom has the same fear about her own son, not her oldest but her youngest..it is just awful.

 

7 minutes

I have 7 minutes til I need to get up. It is Friday. This week has been long and torturous. My son is sick. If he doesn't kick it he will be dead. We cannot enable him any more. He has to make the choice. chaos reigns. S has a new job. Very difficult change. Mm is sick with a flu F vertigo. D political outrage. Haha and me just trying to keep the crew together. That is family a band of tuneless playing this game of life.
I'm still praying as pray is good. It should not be the last resort it should be always there. Prayer= allies. Because prayers combined stretch across the sky and infiltrate unseen. But I know they are there

Yup

Tears is all

God

Are you there? I gotta believe you are but it ain't easy

Arghh

When you have no time to yourself it can make you mad. As in crazy. So I am

Reading Mrs Miracle

I wish I had the answers with out trying. Just knowing is perfect at times.

Ha

Busy busy vacation

Swimming, walking, lovely dinners, and laughing that's what we are doing on our vacation Fred and I shared a pitcher of sangria Sooo good, then we went to the hall of America for the American Show. It was a stage production with mechanical people. Very good, the video song at the end was beautiful. Fred said they quelled the travesty of the squash of the American Indian. True it was there but not dwelled upon such as the civil war. It was still good. Never mind the Illumination show that I could see every night. Today off to animal kingdom. I just love it here.

Flying out

At airport. A little stressful security baggage check even those we had out boarding passes. It is no easy to travel now a days unless you have patience.
They are getting ready to board do here we go. Yippee

Off

No work til oct 1. Hooray

The party

Ricky was so happy.

Call at 7 am

Now in Plymouth. Will this ever cease. Vacation cannot come fast enough. At high point. Remember years past driving him here in the neon. The car was over heating it has one red door. Rest of it was white. The door fell off. I was crying as I drive home. He left the next day didn't even get a ride but hitchhiked. Another nightmare. I don't need to imagine

Tough day

Ricky turned 7. Took 8 hours to make his cake. Tomorrow is the party. I am exhausted

Lil zR

7 today. Have cake to make.

Arghh

Going crazy

Getting ready for vacation

Did medication. Now just 6 days. Wow

what hit me

yesterday after the long day.... somewhere my body crashed... I went to bed helpless, unable to move. i really have to be careful i have no idea what happened to me, couldnt bend my knees and my neck would not twist...i guess i over did my day..

one week til we take off

one week til we take off for some r and r...wonder what the kids will do this time...they are adults and i need to keep my fingers crossed...so anxious and i really dont want to me.  F has vertigo...please let him feel better.  xx

Morning glories taking over

Summertime still exists

When will the last day of the big swim take place. Today Di,Ali,Ricky,Johnny, and I all went for a swim. I raced Johnny 10 laps. I was winning and then in the 9th lap Johnny overtook me. Little Ricky got 3 yathzees in Sponge Bob Yathzee for Real. We went shopping Saturday night and all was perfectly good. Got to see all 4 of my grandsons today. Especially little Lynkoln. And here he is

Cooler

I miss the heat. But I am warm hot all over like a heat wrap unpacked if possible I would be glowing like a lightbulb

Spam

Tired of the spam email. I am shutting the function off

Labor Day Weekend

A nice weekend with actually 2 days off. Kids came by everyday and little Ricky stayed for the weekend. Watched Dark Shadows, Snow White and the Huntsman, and Copper. Finally a tv show I am enjoying. Had fun with Ricky swimming. So cute. Hemmed his shorts for first day of school and played Jaws and swam til our fingers wrinkled.
Tonight we has salmon on the grill. The girls were funny. Dyed Diaana's hair pink and red. And just had fun.
Worried about baby Lynkoln but nothing I can do. Pray pray
On with the end of the year. :(.

August outta here

Sitting outside south station. Waiting and waiting. It is almost 330. I am sick. I don't know If I have enough gas to take us where we are going. Things are spiraling downward. I feel as if this will never end

Photos in Mom's Albums

Call

He calls me from there
The place where his children are
The place where the mother sleeps and sleeps anger persists
I want to let him come here with the children but I can't

just wandering

I love the new app for the iphone on the blogger, it is easy for me to write a quick thought or post a few pics as a break from what ever or whomever.... just a release and it works well much better than the previous app...otherwise... the apple help desk ruined my iphone apps, i lost all my music and well it just makes me angry but there is nothing i can do about it now, misinformation and that is the point, i might someday sit down and try to fix it all but i don't know if it is even worth the time.  it takes devotion to stay up to date with all of that.

currently I am suffering with a nasty sinus cold and could just stay in bed all day, but I am trying to work it out of me doing a bit of cleaning and later will sit in the sun and hope that rest will help retire the bug...I hate so getting this seasonal cold, it seems as if I always get one in September...but it is has come early and hopefully it will leave me before my hub and i escape to my favorite place on earth for right now in my life anyway...I think we change as we age.... I never before felt the need to escape to run away to just convalesce...but now I do ...I need pampering and playtime...is anyone ever too old for such?

August 25th,

cooler mornings came in nearly a week ago...since then the mid day is the warmest part of the day, calling me home, calling me to come out and play as the heat and sweet sun will not last more than that 4 hours just isnt enough
f says lets retire to florida, i cant even think about retiring right now, then i read, so and so and so and so and so and so 59, 62, 63 and so forth have died... it could be the end of life at any moment, but i have not lived to my fullest potential as of yet...i have not rewritten my novel or my fairy tales or anything really.... where is that paper for the haiku's ...geesh ive got to get in focus or it will be gone.

Lynkoln and I

Mom and Dad and More

Time is a blink