Tuesday, May 11, 2010

just another day

there is never just another day for me... every day is big... i have to live this way and i am certain it drives my husband mad... i might not be here tomorrow, i might not be able to walk tomorrow, i might not be anything tomorrow and how i wish tomorrow would never come so that i can just continue to live...

i am not afraid of dying, i do not feel as if i have accomplished everything that i should have while ive been here as me, but certainly i have accomplished much so if it were my time to leave then so be it, i would not want others to grieve for me so much as i would want them to remember me

but anyway the first day off ive had in ages it seems even though we went to Disney and I did have a couple of non work days that were of course scheduled with activities, well...it seems absurd to me that my husband would not allow me to go visit my mother, your car is not fixed...oh yeah i forgot...good enough for work not for travel...and again, ride my bike..disallowed...someone might knock you off it... so now i am in a bad mood..this really has to stop...overprotective husband... i said, you will let me go to nyc alone but you will not let me ride my bike which i havent been able to do for 10 years.... arghhhh... something has to be done...

it is now after 3 and my day had been impeded so much that i am exhausted from the disagreement... i will ride my bike, i will and i will find a way...the bike rack is coming out of the basement and then he wont be able to say a word.

least i forget to mention, he did say a little at a time..and i do agree however, i dont need him sitting on the front steps watching me like i am a 6 year old...help save me from the retireee not nice but i must vent dont worry i am emailing this post to him.

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