projects

again ive been moved into a special project...will i succeed.... two days now we have made goal, my boss was happy...today however i worked 12 hours to get stuff done that should have been done a month ago...oh well.... cant do everything.

i am so mad at my dr.... her sec faxed the wrong test results to my gyn....they called me.....What's going on...they sent us stuff from January.... arghhh...now i have to wait even longer to find out what the decision is going to be...it may not just be a lap....... arghhh...

i took my b day off..and havent told a soul hahahah...
.i just want to take off and go to NYC... i could and no one would even know ... they could think i am in work and i would be sitting in the theatre enjoying a wonderful play... now that the strike is over that's all i can think about....

mk...got refused for his passport, if he was an illeagle...that's how i'll call it to be politically correct he would have a license and God knows what other identification...here he is an american born kid and he has to have 5 pieces of something to prove it....it is bs that is what it is.

well my new medication is working some what except that i feel like a greased pig and that part sucks. this is just a whine session....and i know it....so much for that ...it is really bugging me that i am turning 50...it just really is...not that i feel so much different but gheeze ive got so much to do in my life...

hp is coming tomorrow to remove her furniture, that will free 1.5 rooms in my house...wow wow.... space yahoo... that is something every one will enjoy...i will be able to use my treadmill and the tv room will be a delight to everyone...welcome back house.

on the other hand rw is not here and i am really really sad about that too...3-5 years he said and it aint even the final count.... not that he isnt a jerk..it is just that feeling fractured sucks...and that is how i feel when we are all together and he is not here...and i think about the times we could be having together with his baby ...the little love that he is and my heart is just ripped up and that is the part that is sometimes killing me the most because i cant think about it, coz if i do i just feel so very very sad...enough bitching...

there is nothing i can do to change the way things are
just keep going and praying and hoping that someday he will gain the strength to be whole...and not be part of that clan that is forever labeled.... a drug addict...
that would be a gift...when i was really sick i prayed to God, make him well, i dont even care if i ever get better if he was to get well...but that didnt happen..and i am still not well... figures...

next thurday i am going to join the senior choir at church - i will be the youngest one there. ha! this is something i will enjoy alleluia...