I am lauging to myself this morning because if I really thought about all I have to do, I would be in bed from a severe stress attack. But things are coming together slowly. B asked me if I was working tomorrow, and no, I am not... tomorrow I am finishing all I have to do as far as gift and my menu and basic clearing and setting up... I didnt get some stuff done that I wanted but I can live with that.
My b day this year was one of the best and one of the worst at the same time. The reality of the son who is on the edge coming by and planting himself, haunting and taunting... could have ruined the day
the reality that the principal at BLA said to the youngest, you are hangin in where you are. You should stay there. was totally torture for the youngest, but true too. Her perception was right now if only the younger will believe in herself that would work.
the reality that the job was just not going to work out, well that rang true too... so vacation time will be used to have him sign up for school as he says he is ready now.
the reality that my grandson jc makes my day... is so true. all he wants is someone who gives him time....
today he is coming over after school again. we will take him to pick out a tree with his mother. and he will help us decorate ours. i am looking forward to this
i miss my baby grandson, i hope i get to see him soon. i cant talk to the otherones mother. she just doesnt get it. what an ass she is.
on a positive note, i did spend about 16 hours working on a poem ...that i sorta finished but let it be finished because it was comsuming all my energy and i really needed to get on with things. the best thing about it for me, is that i proved to myself that i can still do it, although it takes time, and quiet, something i have a lack of. alas... the feeling was still there...
there is nothing like writing for me,
the quiet, the tapping of the keys, the scratch of the pen on paper
the atmosphere here, but there, in that other side, that other divide where i go
i like it there, but if i stayed there i would get nothing done, i wonder sometimes if i will end up there.... that is why ive not written much, the void, it takes you in, and you dont want to come out... and i get so many disruptions... i feel good. and that is what counts.
1 comment:
Sorry I didn't call to wish you a happy bday or anything. I totally blew all the December birthdays this year. I would say I have too much going on, blah blah blah, excuses excuses. The reality is that I am terrible at these things and need to make a better effort! Sorry sorry.
I'm glad you're taking a day off to get your stuff in order. It sounds like a great day! Give my love to all.
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