sleepy

the morning is quiet, i can hear the ticking of the clock,
the soft touch keys beat as they are tapped, the baby coos, and squeaks in his swing, my eyes droop, mothering for an hour

i remember the endless mornings, one child, then later, another, and more years, another, and more years another... til there was four. today they run out the door, each on their own path, for the most part happy, so that should be it,
but sadness comes over me, covers me like snow turned to ice-- glazed
how fast they have grown.... their lives are going by, just as mine, slipping--
even with the hardships, i would relive it again to get to this day, this moment, this feeling of peacefulness,
i breathe longer and harder
everyday is full, but i take each moment of joy for all it gives,
yet i am sad, i really have no more babies. my youngest will be 16 after the first of the year, the oldest will turn 28
i dont want another child to care for, i just want this to keep going
this way
quiet
Peace
calm
the dog is barking, i laugh, being so annoyed, he wants to go out in the snow
you are too old, your hind legs will freeze,
stay in be warm, he reminds --
the world outside is barking for me

.