I love angels . Here is a gift from my son. even a tortured one. Now to find a way to hang it as I think it weighs about 50 lbs.
Friday, December 30, 2005
an angel
I love angels . Here is a gift from my son. even a tortured one. Now to find a way to hang it as I think it weighs about 50 lbs.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Believe
Believe
Some holidays contain more magic than others. This year I was blessed with a share that will stay with me til the end of my days.
A couple of years ago, my daughter split from her beau leaving her to be the main care taker for their son. (just to give the father credit -- He does take an avid interest in his son, but he is a control freak, too, which can often make child rearing difficult negotiations for the parents and the boy…) that aside, my younger son and I have taken to being Santa Claus, storing the lad’s gifts at our house and bringing them to hers after he has fallen asleep Christmas Eve.
This Christmas Eve went long. My daughter didn’t leave our house until nearly 1 a.m.. My son and I traveled to her house an hour later. But before we went, I pulled out a special Santa gift for my grandson, a replica of the bell from the movie Polar Express that was put out by Hallmark. The bell has the same look and jingle as the bell from the movie. It can also not jingle too if held the correct way. The box it comes in could be the one from the movie, too, a perfect connection for one who believes in Christmas magic. I wrapped the bell in special blue paper and put a big bow on it.
At my daughters, we helped her to set up the gifts. I left the blue box on top of the stack. It was the only wrapped gift in a plethora of others. I took a quick picture, kissed my daughter good-bye, and finally went home.
The morning came quickly; I got up at 8 but was exhausted. I puttered about for a while and tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. About 11, I called my daughter to see how Johnny was and say Merry Christmas.
She said, “Johnny, just left. You missed him.” Her tone was sad, as it is so hard for her to say goodbye to her boy for the day. But then she asked, “Mom did you leave that blue wrapped present here?”
I said,”Huh? What blue wrapped present?”
Then she said, “Mom, Johnny got up and looked at his gifts, but then he said,”Look one little wrapped present! What could it be Mama?”
My daughter looked too. “Where did that come from?”
Johnny opened it quickly and said, “Look Momma, a bell from Santa’s sleigh.” My daughter grinned and hugged her son. She said tears came to her eyes. Mom did you? And I Laughed. And she knew. But she said,
“For one minute Mom, really, my heart really fluttered, and I really did believe.”
I just giggled over the phone and said, “Of course Santa left it there.” And I didn’t say another word.
She has never seen the Polar Express, and I hope she gets to watch it soon, for I think she will smile ear to ear for the magic of the bell there, was here.
Some holidays contain more magic than others. This year I was blessed with a share that will stay with me til the end of my days.
A couple of years ago, my daughter split from her beau leaving her to be the main care taker for their son. (just to give the father credit -- He does take an avid interest in his son, but he is a control freak, too, which can often make child rearing difficult negotiations for the parents and the boy…) that aside, my younger son and I have taken to being Santa Claus, storing the lad’s gifts at our house and bringing them to hers after he has fallen asleep Christmas Eve.
This Christmas Eve went long. My daughter didn’t leave our house until nearly 1 a.m.. My son and I traveled to her house an hour later. But before we went, I pulled out a special Santa gift for my grandson, a replica of the bell from the movie Polar Express that was put out by Hallmark. The bell has the same look and jingle as the bell from the movie. It can also not jingle too if held the correct way. The box it comes in could be the one from the movie, too, a perfect connection for one who believes in Christmas magic. I wrapped the bell in special blue paper and put a big bow on it.
At my daughters, we helped her to set up the gifts. I left the blue box on top of the stack. It was the only wrapped gift in a plethora of others. I took a quick picture, kissed my daughter good-bye, and finally went home.
The morning came quickly; I got up at 8 but was exhausted. I puttered about for a while and tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. About 11, I called my daughter to see how Johnny was and say Merry Christmas.
She said, “Johnny, just left. You missed him.” Her tone was sad, as it is so hard for her to say goodbye to her boy for the day. But then she asked, “Mom did you leave that blue wrapped present here?”
I said,”Huh? What blue wrapped present?”
Then she said, “Mom, Johnny got up and looked at his gifts, but then he said,”Look one little wrapped present! What could it be Mama?”
My daughter looked too. “Where did that come from?”
Johnny opened it quickly and said, “Look Momma, a bell from Santa’s sleigh.” My daughter grinned and hugged her son. She said tears came to her eyes. Mom did you? And I Laughed. And she knew. But she said,
“For one minute Mom, really, my heart really fluttered, and I really did believe.”
I just giggled over the phone and said, “Of course Santa left it there.” And I didn’t say another word.
She has never seen the Polar Express, and I hope she gets to watch it soon, for I think she will smile ear to ear for the magic of the bell there, was here.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Johnny Damon is a traitor
money lovin grubin baseball players that is what they are becoming. what happened to the team? what happened to sticking with one team for a career?
I am seriously thinking of giving up baseball after this!
JOHNNY DAMON I HATE YOU FOR GOING TO THE YANKEES>>YOU HAVE NO LOYALTY
I really want to wish something bad upon you... this sucks!!!
I am seriously thinking of giving up baseball after this!
JOHNNY DAMON I HATE YOU FOR GOING TO THE YANKEES>>YOU HAVE NO LOYALTY
I really want to wish something bad upon you... this sucks!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
what is this something new
often I purchase new things for my husband, pants, shirts, wallets, you name it, I buy it. Most often he will just let what ever it is sit there until some time that has some significance to him--- sometimes it is a very long time, like three months for the t-shirt I purchased him at Disneyland---
bottom line, i can not make him exchange his old for what is new...he will choose to wear it when he chooses ---- and what ever has kicked around so long that I have washed and ironed it three times and he still has not bothered with it..., or something --- and maybe nothing out of the ordinary happens...just a whim comes upon him.... he is just not the, "it's new I want to wear it, or use it," type of guy. He likes was is tried, true, and comfortable, each adjective not applied to all....
but yesterday, while I was finally doing some xmas shopping, I spied a pair of wing tips, with soft rubber soles, his favorite! and in his size, not easy to find I must say.
when I came home last night, I had a big grin, "look what I found"...he looked in the box, "wingtips" no trying them on, no taking them out of the box to look at them...no nothing...hummm.... I let his unenthusiastic mood slide .... why why.. i didn't even question.... That is just how he is i reminded myself...oh something for me, thanks.... ... and six months later....hey this is great...lol... it is kind of funny...but...
This morning, I heard him rumbling about the bedroom, getting himself together, and then I kissed him goodbye with my eyes half opened....so exhausted from everything, I lay there listening to hear his car, and I didnt hear it for quite a long while--
so long a time passed that I got out of bed and looked out of the window... and I saw him leaving, 1/2 hour later than usual hummm... I wondered, what took him so long, .... and I paused for a few minutes, tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't so I began my day.
After doing dishes and bottles and organizing my lists... I went into the living room to see the shoe bag near the sofa was empty. Humm... and the box was empty --- left on the buffet...hummm
Yes, he took the time to take his inserts ..he has special feet... and put them in his new shoes, so that means he tried them on, and they fit..yahooo!!!!
New shoes for a new day, wear them well. For some reason this simple act has me in a much cheerier mood. How silly... what does this mean? hummm I guess he is happy about his shoes...
bottom line, i can not make him exchange his old for what is new...he will choose to wear it when he chooses ---- and what ever has kicked around so long that I have washed and ironed it three times and he still has not bothered with it..., or something --- and maybe nothing out of the ordinary happens...just a whim comes upon him.... he is just not the, "it's new I want to wear it, or use it," type of guy. He likes was is tried, true, and comfortable, each adjective not applied to all....
but yesterday, while I was finally doing some xmas shopping, I spied a pair of wing tips, with soft rubber soles, his favorite! and in his size, not easy to find I must say.
when I came home last night, I had a big grin, "look what I found"...he looked in the box, "wingtips" no trying them on, no taking them out of the box to look at them...no nothing...hummm.... I let his unenthusiastic mood slide .... why why.. i didn't even question.... That is just how he is i reminded myself...oh something for me, thanks.... ... and six months later....hey this is great...lol... it is kind of funny...but...
This morning, I heard him rumbling about the bedroom, getting himself together, and then I kissed him goodbye with my eyes half opened....so exhausted from everything, I lay there listening to hear his car, and I didnt hear it for quite a long while--
so long a time passed that I got out of bed and looked out of the window... and I saw him leaving, 1/2 hour later than usual hummm... I wondered, what took him so long, .... and I paused for a few minutes, tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't so I began my day.
After doing dishes and bottles and organizing my lists... I went into the living room to see the shoe bag near the sofa was empty. Humm... and the box was empty --- left on the buffet...hummm
Yes, he took the time to take his inserts ..he has special feet... and put them in his new shoes, so that means he tried them on, and they fit..yahooo!!!!
New shoes for a new day, wear them well. For some reason this simple act has me in a much cheerier mood. How silly... what does this mean? hummm I guess he is happy about his shoes...
Sunday, December 11, 2005
morning
the snow came quick
all was covered
the tree limbs and branches and even the
trunks
signs along the road look sprayed with white corn
or cotton
p.j.hernon was out in his truck with his dog
they both wore hats
looking forward driving along
christmas lights
peeking through the snow crested trees
and fences and porches and rooftops
for as far as eyes could see
12/10/05
i pray for my friend Bob Glavin
i pray he gets well
My love hate relationship of this season continues
i have yet to purchase one gift
i have yet to get my tree or my lights up on my house
i am losing it.
i told my boss i have an interview for a job
if i get into the program it wont be until january--- i told her on the 9th of december that means... it would be almost a months notice.....
she started to cry, i felt badly, but i cant
i have been telling her for weeks she needed to find someone
i am tired of her complaint, "i hate working early, i cant get into the office"
there is no certainty here .... i wanted her to understand
but she pressed, call your boss, they cant do that, they must give you a date
but that is not how it is, and she knows that
i did call one of my bosses, he told me the same, what does she think i am going to do, call and get myself throw out before i even get in.... geessh...it is a game..all a fn game...
she is the one who decided to go to europe for 3 weeks....
arghhh....
i will write poetry and next week get ready for xmazz haha.. or Christmas
all was covered
the tree limbs and branches and even the
trunks
signs along the road look sprayed with white corn
or cotton
p.j.hernon was out in his truck with his dog
they both wore hats
looking forward driving along
christmas lights
peeking through the snow crested trees
and fences and porches and rooftops
for as far as eyes could see
12/10/05
i pray for my friend Bob Glavin
i pray he gets well
My love hate relationship of this season continues
i have yet to purchase one gift
i have yet to get my tree or my lights up on my house
i am losing it.
i told my boss i have an interview for a job
if i get into the program it wont be until january--- i told her on the 9th of december that means... it would be almost a months notice.....
she started to cry, i felt badly, but i cant
i have been telling her for weeks she needed to find someone
i am tired of her complaint, "i hate working early, i cant get into the office"
there is no certainty here .... i wanted her to understand
but she pressed, call your boss, they cant do that, they must give you a date
but that is not how it is, and she knows that
i did call one of my bosses, he told me the same, what does she think i am going to do, call and get myself throw out before i even get in.... geessh...it is a game..all a fn game...
she is the one who decided to go to europe for 3 weeks....
arghhh....
i will write poetry and next week get ready for xmazz haha.. or Christmas
Thursday, December 08, 2005
cold heat
wear your gloves
wear your hat
cover your head
dont go out like that
where are your socks?
where are your boots?
do you need long underwear?
a sweater?
hot chocolate?
tea?
none of the above
give lasting heat
yesterday was one of those everlasting days
a day i took a nap in the afternoon
a day i cooked breakfasts (short order) after 4
a day the shopping took place so late
that by the time all was put away
husband and i went to bed
that was the deal...
if you go shopping with me, we can come home and go right to bed...
hahah ...
so we did...
first there was the unpacking by the crew, they picked and decided what they wanted to cook,
then there was the sneaking into bed, but hearing all kinds of noise---
the oil overheated and the smoke alarms and the baby and doors and windows......
the bellow of
"you're not paying the heating bills"
yesterday was 8 years since my father died...
and 33 years since my husband and i first kissed
yesterday we tested those kisses
they didnt seem 33 years old---
some things get better with age...
perhaps kissing does
the reason why our eyes get weaker is so that we cannot see the imperfections that come along with growing old.... some how my husband does not look like he is losing his hair, nor does his beard and mustache appear all white, i just dont see the way it is....
nor does he see how old lady ive become..well when it comes to driving with my seatbelt on, and worrying about wrinkles, and not wanting to wear anything but plain white cotton underwear.... that he never complains are old lady like..... thank you love for creating foolish visions and giving us heat when it is too cold to walk around the house in bare feet
enough rambling...
wear your hat
cover your head
dont go out like that
where are your socks?
where are your boots?
do you need long underwear?
a sweater?
hot chocolate?
tea?
none of the above
give lasting heat
yesterday was one of those everlasting days
a day i took a nap in the afternoon
a day i cooked breakfasts (short order) after 4
a day the shopping took place so late
that by the time all was put away
husband and i went to bed
that was the deal...
if you go shopping with me, we can come home and go right to bed...
hahah ...
so we did...
first there was the unpacking by the crew, they picked and decided what they wanted to cook,
then there was the sneaking into bed, but hearing all kinds of noise---
the oil overheated and the smoke alarms and the baby and doors and windows......
the bellow of
"you're not paying the heating bills"
yesterday was 8 years since my father died...
and 33 years since my husband and i first kissed
yesterday we tested those kisses
they didnt seem 33 years old---
some things get better with age...
perhaps kissing does
the reason why our eyes get weaker is so that we cannot see the imperfections that come along with growing old.... some how my husband does not look like he is losing his hair, nor does his beard and mustache appear all white, i just dont see the way it is....
nor does he see how old lady ive become..well when it comes to driving with my seatbelt on, and worrying about wrinkles, and not wanting to wear anything but plain white cotton underwear.... that he never complains are old lady like..... thank you love for creating foolish visions and giving us heat when it is too cold to walk around the house in bare feet
enough rambling...
Monday, December 05, 2005
sleepy
the morning is quiet, i can hear the ticking of the clock,
the soft touch keys beat as they are tapped, the baby coos, and squeaks in his swing, my eyes droop, mothering for an hour
i remember the endless mornings, one child, then later, another, and more years, another, and more years another... til there was four. today they run out the door, each on their own path, for the most part happy, so that should be it,
but sadness comes over me, covers me like snow turned to ice-- glazed
how fast they have grown.... their lives are going by, just as mine, slipping--
even with the hardships, i would relive it again to get to this day, this moment, this feeling of peacefulness,
i breathe longer and harder
everyday is full, but i take each moment of joy for all it gives,
yet i am sad, i really have no more babies. my youngest will be 16 after the first of the year, the oldest will turn 28
i dont want another child to care for, i just want this to keep going
this way
quiet
Peace
calm
the dog is barking, i laugh, being so annoyed, he wants to go out in the snow
you are too old, your hind legs will freeze,
stay in be warm, he reminds --
the world outside is barking for me
.
the soft touch keys beat as they are tapped, the baby coos, and squeaks in his swing, my eyes droop, mothering for an hour
i remember the endless mornings, one child, then later, another, and more years, another, and more years another... til there was four. today they run out the door, each on their own path, for the most part happy, so that should be it,
but sadness comes over me, covers me like snow turned to ice-- glazed
how fast they have grown.... their lives are going by, just as mine, slipping--
even with the hardships, i would relive it again to get to this day, this moment, this feeling of peacefulness,
i breathe longer and harder
everyday is full, but i take each moment of joy for all it gives,
yet i am sad, i really have no more babies. my youngest will be 16 after the first of the year, the oldest will turn 28
i dont want another child to care for, i just want this to keep going
this way
quiet
Peace
calm
the dog is barking, i laugh, being so annoyed, he wants to go out in the snow
you are too old, your hind legs will freeze,
stay in be warm, he reminds --
the world outside is barking for me
.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Tests Suck
Tests Suck
Who at 47 years old wants to take a test that could possibly change the direction she has been working toward for over 12 years –
The reason for the test would be to be accepted into a program that will turn her life upside down for 4 months, and then from there, the future could be endless, if she manages to make it through it all….
So she took the test… she stressed during the test, she freaked during the test, not that it was hard, but because it was work. Yes, you must work at math she reminded herself. Yes, you can do math she reminded herself.
The test had a grammar mistake…how dare they
The test had stupid questions….why would they?
She left the test with a feeling of “I know I blew it”
But she didn’t… excellent, excellent, excellent, that is how they grade you,
Excellent, strong, minimal, and non-eligible. So she passed that part. Now she has to wait for an interview. Will she get one? God help her through this crap. Who at 47 years old needs it? All should be settled and straightened out by now! Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
There is no supposed to be in life and living. To truly live one must keep learning, that is the teacher in me. Oh it is fun to be a fool sometimes. So many paths... How much time?
Who at 47 years old wants to take a test that could possibly change the direction she has been working toward for over 12 years –
The reason for the test would be to be accepted into a program that will turn her life upside down for 4 months, and then from there, the future could be endless, if she manages to make it through it all….
So she took the test… she stressed during the test, she freaked during the test, not that it was hard, but because it was work. Yes, you must work at math she reminded herself. Yes, you can do math she reminded herself.
The test had a grammar mistake…how dare they
The test had stupid questions….why would they?
She left the test with a feeling of “I know I blew it”
But she didn’t… excellent, excellent, excellent, that is how they grade you,
Excellent, strong, minimal, and non-eligible. So she passed that part. Now she has to wait for an interview. Will she get one? God help her through this crap. Who at 47 years old needs it? All should be settled and straightened out by now! Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
There is no supposed to be in life and living. To truly live one must keep learning, that is the teacher in me. Oh it is fun to be a fool sometimes. So many paths... How much time?
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