Tomorrow is Halloween, one of my favorite celebration days, however this year I have to pass on going to Salem, and enjoying the festivities that go with the All Hallow's Eve....
I have to say that my surgery was very successful. I am feeling better than before the operation although I am in the convalesing stage. Most days I am lying about on the sofa or in bed knitting. Today Fred went and applied for his passport giving my imagination a wonderful rush. Where will we go? I want Italy. Fred said, "Any where your little heart desires." But that was just his way of not having to commit to any place ...currently... but I do have my ideas!...
It will be a long two more weeks.... but hopefully I will feel better and better everyday. It is funny though how anesthesia can wipe me out...wow... more to come in the days that follow. At least I have awoken.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
arghhhh
I have about 1 week and 1 day until I am going to be out of work for 1 month... I'm really just about done with my boss who does not appreciate me at all... I am seriously thinking of leaving him.... there is a job opening closer to home but then again...do i want to go there... decisions decisions... an old worker friend of mine is at that station where the job is at...that makes it not a good reason to go there... coz as people know, i can be a bitch... anyway
i am feeling low...it must be a pre-surgery depression
i just need a real vacation and i dont know if i will ever get one....
i am feeling low...it must be a pre-surgery depression
i just need a real vacation and i dont know if i will ever get one....
Monday, October 12, 2009
Knitting
Knitting 
About a year ago, maybe longer, no one really knows when it started, my mother, the mother of 7 children, an invincible woman, developed a diabetic ulcer, better known as a hole in her skin that went straight to her ankle bone. Osteomyolitis is the technical term.
For nearly a year, minus the time Mom spent in Arizona with my younger sister, Joan, --- my older sister, Jeanne, took Mom to the wound clinic.
My younger sister, Joan helped her through a skin graft while she was in Arizona--that did not work, and finally Mom decided--- after visiting a Dr. suggested by my brother James, at another hospital --- Surgery was the only answer.
Her regular wound care Doc was chosen to do the surgery.
Dr Shaun, ---- I’ll just call him that because he is Polish, like my mother, ----
And his name does not at all spell the way you say it, -----
Dr Shaun has my mother’s faith and trust, as I said, he is Polish and Dr. Shaun is put above the rest.
On August 13th my mother entered the CC hospital, had the surgery, was put on insulin because her diabetes went wild and her kidneys gave her a run for her wellness… She stayed in the hospital an extra day until they felt she was well enough to go to a nursing home, The Royal Arms, I’ll call it. She wanted to go there because she thought she could go to church every morning as it is right beside a church, but… that did not happen.
As it went, Mom was remanded to the nursing home in a wheelchair for quite sometime as Dr Shaun did not want her walking on her leg until the incision was clean. Finally nearly a month later, September 15th arrived and the incision was clean, Mom could go home, but she was to see Dr Shaun the next day.
My sister Jeanne took Mom to the Drs. And it was not a very good appointment. Mom still had some stitches and a section of the foot had opened. Bad news. She was required to stay off the foot and have a baby sitter: Mom’s definition: one who would be there to keep her from doing what she wanted to do.
I worked that day, went home, and did a few things about the house, and drove to the cape. My sister Jeanne was still there waiting. Mom was on the sofa knitting. We chatted a bit. Then Jeanne went home….. The first few days of caring for Mom was getting to know her, what she wanted, when she wanted, how she liked things, hot, cold, size, softness, times…..I asked lots of questions and Mom was ok, not unhappy, being home was wonderful for her, but I could see in her face an apprehension about the foot, and how long and tiresome this procedure had become. This hole had taken her life as she knew it and she wondered if she would ever recover. When I helped her to bed that night she said, “I wish I wasn’t such a pain.”
“You’re not a pain, and you never have been,” was my reply.
My mother has never been a pain. She is the most independent, progressive person I’ve known in my life. This statement broke my heart. I could feel myself welling with tears, but I wasn’t going to cry. I was there to help her get better, get stronger, and that was what I was going to do. And that Feisty hole was not going to win---I said to myself.
The next day, Mom was knitting a very special blanket for her granddaughter, my niece, Marie;
I took up a knitting book and searched for something easy I could possibly make. I found a Baba Doll, similar to the nesting dolls we have in our homes. Mom helped me find some yarn in her yards and yards of remnants and off I went… needles in hands, and started this doll….. I tore it out a few times, but finally she was complete….with the help of Mom’s coaching, she didn’t come out too bad.
Saturday, my brother John and his wife, Patrice were down the cape. Mom insisted that I go home. I left in the late morning. I went home, cleaned about the house, did laundry, ironed, shopped for food, picked up my youngest grandson, and returned to Mom’s the next day.
My daughter Stephanie came to the cape house to pick up my grandson with her son. The two grandchildren picked out knitted toys they wanted me to make. Lil Ricky said he wanted an Elephant then he changed his mind to an alligator, but he still wanted the elephant. I could just tell. Johnny wanted a chick, but the chick he picked was more like a ball not a knitted one. So the elephant was begun, and the Chick was put on the list.
I had work to do; Mom was still working on the blanket for Lil Marie.
Tuesday came and the visiting nurse, Ken, like Barbie’s Ken, came to the house.
When I saw the foot ---Questions came out of my mouth --- What are those black spots, can I massage it? What should I be doing? The nurse said stitches, and he thought I could massage it, but… I was nervous and decided to wait until we visited the Drs the next day.
And although that baby Elephant required knitting with 4 needles, I did not say I am not going to do this, I took up the needles and began….
The ride to the wound clinic was enlightening. In all the years I’ve been going to the cape I’d never driven to Sandwich through the roads we took, plus route 28 where I rode my bike for a few summers long…. Was totally changed. I was sad and awakened --- the cape as I knew it had changed. Had it been that long since I was down there--- traveling these roads -- yet yesterday’s memories are as strong as the days they were made --- my heart ached and I felt a knot twist in my mind and my heart because of the years that had passed. It was almost 33 years since the date my husband and I married. When we were first married we went to the cape quite often, but as our family grew we traveled there less, with work and a house full… there just wasn’t as much time… and suddenly it was 33 years later from then…
Mom was early to the drs and we waited. The patients at the clinic were different than her but the same. Special shoes, special dressings, wheelchairs, canes ---
The chairs in the exam rooms are similar to the ones at the dentist offices, large cushiony with the ability to go up and down, and side to side. No spit sink though which was good. The nurses were happy to see my mom, and when they took her bandage off,
I asked immediately, “What are those black things? Can I massage her foot? How does it look?” And I took out my camera and took pictures. The Feisty Foot was not the prettiest picture, but Mom said she couldn’t really see it, so I wanted to show it to her, and I ended up sharing the photos with all my brothers and sisters, why not? I would want to see.
Dr Shaun came in, Mom introduced me, as he poked and prodded at her foot. Mom didn’t wince too much. She did ask, “Do I still need a baby sitter.” To which Dr. Shaun replied, “Yes.”
I asked for a couple of stockinets so we could change the one she had, and they were supplied. “Next week.” said the Doc. “No Changes for the nurse, No PT.”
Mom insisted on going to Roche Brothers and then we went home. I read over the paper. “No standing on right leg” Keep up at least 30 minutes 5 times a day. No changes to visiting nurse, no pt.
Mom said, “If I don’t do stuff I am going to lose my ability to do stuff.” I said to Mom, “If you do not stay off that foot it is not going to heal. This is the time, not next week or the week after. You are just going to have to put up with me doing stuff for you and stay off the foot.”
Mom wasn’t happy but I was not going to just let her do what ever she wanted. That night I didn’t insist on massaging her foot. But I was going to start, and she was going to have to tolerate me taking care of her.
We knitted and talked and watched TV. My husband came down and we celebrated our anniversary. We took Mom to Job Lot where she strolled off with a carriage. My heart was pounding. We were only supposed to be looking at yarn. What if someone bops that leg? Arghhhhhhhh
After Job Lot Mom allowed us to drop her at home while my husband and I finished the shopping for lunch. Eyeyeye.
Well, later that afternoon, Mom threw me out. “Go home, John will be here.”
And so I went. I went home to cook and clean and shop and take the baby out… And then I returned to Mom and the baby Elephant that was giving me plenty of problems. I massaged Mom’s foot every night starting with it cold and white ending when it turned warm and just pink…
Tuesday, Mom baked while sitting in a chair, I was the assistant, just the lumper carrying things to the table and sink and stove and back again. Mom was happy.
The next day we went to the Drs. Mom brought some brownies with her and she was taken in right away. The girls were singing and giggling and giving Mom hugs. When they took the bandage off, I looked at it and I thought the hole was closed. But one nurse said to the other, “I’m going in.” I held my breath as they took a Qtip to the wound. “2cm,” she called out. I was disappointed. I really wanted that hole to be gone. But Mom took out her list, “copper bottom socks, (I still have to get her some), have you heard of them, can I wear them? Can I go to the heart Drs Appts? Can I get a flu shot, can I? DO I Still need a BABYSITTER?”
Dr. Shaun turned and looked right at me, “Yes, she does too much.”
I asked for some more stockinet and home we went. Mom was happy it had closed from 4 cm to 2 cm. But she still needed a baby sitter. My brother Kenney was next on the list.
Thursday, Mom and I searched the internet for patterns. We found a great one for a little chick and a cat for her to make Little Alan my nephew, her grandson. And I finally finished the baby Elephant that night as she slept.
Friday, I packed up my stuff, washed all the laundry and started the baby Chick. The chick’s math was incorrect. Mom helped me to figure it out. I worked on it, did more laundry and linens, and the day grew into the afternoon. Mom never asked what time I was leaving like every other time. This time she took the day as it was. At 3:30 I said I was going to massage her foot one last time and then I was going to go. All the linens were changed; I was all packed up….
I massaged her foot and we were quiet. I gave her a kiss and told her I was going to miss her and I left. Tears streamed down my cheek as I drove away. She couldn’t wave good bye at the door like she always did before the feisty hole.
It was as hard to leave her as it was to leave my baby daughter in the hospital when she was born and go home. I knew she was on the mend though, and I took the knitting I was working on with me.
My brother Kenny took over where I left off. He massaged Mom’s foot and cooked for her and took her shopping, and did just what she needed. He even fixed the drawer that I couldn’t figure out how it was broken.
Best of all ---- He took her to her visit with Dr Shaun. Mom brought brownies for the nurses and a hat she knitted for Dr. Shaun. Dr Shaun said he would wear it as he was going to Vermont. And with Kenny there, Dr. Shaun told Mom that she didn’t need a babysitter any more.
Today, just a few days later, I visited Mom with my oldest grandson in tow. Her foot looks great. She was baking on her own and she had her foot in its protective sponge and she was keeping it up.
I gave the feisty foot a great massage…. And Mom gave me her secret hat pattern…. as it happened that yesterday Little Ricky said to me, “Can’t you knit me a hat, right now? Before I go home. And I laughed, “I am no way near that fast.”
Today lucky us---- Johnny and I both got new knitted hats made the Grammy way.
Johnny’s is green and mine is blue. His goes perfect with his jacket and mine goes perfect with my postal sweatshirt. I heard my brother John got one too.
I am working on a hat now for Lil Ricky…
10/12/2009
About a year ago, maybe longer, no one really knows when it started, my mother, the mother of 7 children, an invincible woman, developed a diabetic ulcer, better known as a hole in her skin that went straight to her ankle bone. Osteomyolitis is the technical term.
For nearly a year, minus the time Mom spent in Arizona with my younger sister, Joan, --- my older sister, Jeanne, took Mom to the wound clinic.
My younger sister, Joan helped her through a skin graft while she was in Arizona--that did not work, and finally Mom decided--- after visiting a Dr. suggested by my brother James, at another hospital --- Surgery was the only answer.
Her regular wound care Doc was chosen to do the surgery.
Dr Shaun, ---- I’ll just call him that because he is Polish, like my mother, ----
And his name does not at all spell the way you say it, -----
Dr Shaun has my mother’s faith and trust, as I said, he is Polish and Dr. Shaun is put above the rest.
On August 13th my mother entered the CC hospital, had the surgery, was put on insulin because her diabetes went wild and her kidneys gave her a run for her wellness… She stayed in the hospital an extra day until they felt she was well enough to go to a nursing home, The Royal Arms, I’ll call it. She wanted to go there because she thought she could go to church every morning as it is right beside a church, but… that did not happen.
As it went, Mom was remanded to the nursing home in a wheelchair for quite sometime as Dr Shaun did not want her walking on her leg until the incision was clean. Finally nearly a month later, September 15th arrived and the incision was clean, Mom could go home, but she was to see Dr Shaun the next day.
My sister Jeanne took Mom to the Drs. And it was not a very good appointment. Mom still had some stitches and a section of the foot had opened. Bad news. She was required to stay off the foot and have a baby sitter: Mom’s definition: one who would be there to keep her from doing what she wanted to do.
I worked that day, went home, and did a few things about the house, and drove to the cape. My sister Jeanne was still there waiting. Mom was on the sofa knitting. We chatted a bit. Then Jeanne went home….. The first few days of caring for Mom was getting to know her, what she wanted, when she wanted, how she liked things, hot, cold, size, softness, times…..I asked lots of questions and Mom was ok, not unhappy, being home was wonderful for her, but I could see in her face an apprehension about the foot, and how long and tiresome this procedure had become. This hole had taken her life as she knew it and she wondered if she would ever recover. When I helped her to bed that night she said, “I wish I wasn’t such a pain.”
“You’re not a pain, and you never have been,” was my reply.
My mother has never been a pain. She is the most independent, progressive person I’ve known in my life. This statement broke my heart. I could feel myself welling with tears, but I wasn’t going to cry. I was there to help her get better, get stronger, and that was what I was going to do. And that Feisty hole was not going to win---I said to myself.
The next day, Mom was knitting a very special blanket for her granddaughter, my niece, Marie;
I took up a knitting book and searched for something easy I could possibly make. I found a Baba Doll, similar to the nesting dolls we have in our homes. Mom helped me find some yarn in her yards and yards of remnants and off I went… needles in hands, and started this doll….. I tore it out a few times, but finally she was complete….with the help of Mom’s coaching, she didn’t come out too bad.
Saturday, my brother John and his wife, Patrice were down the cape. Mom insisted that I go home. I left in the late morning. I went home, cleaned about the house, did laundry, ironed, shopped for food, picked up my youngest grandson, and returned to Mom’s the next day.
My daughter Stephanie came to the cape house to pick up my grandson with her son. The two grandchildren picked out knitted toys they wanted me to make. Lil Ricky said he wanted an Elephant then he changed his mind to an alligator, but he still wanted the elephant. I could just tell. Johnny wanted a chick, but the chick he picked was more like a ball not a knitted one. So the elephant was begun, and the Chick was put on the list.
I had work to do; Mom was still working on the blanket for Lil Marie.
Tuesday came and the visiting nurse, Ken, like Barbie’s Ken, came to the house.
When I saw the foot ---Questions came out of my mouth --- What are those black spots, can I massage it? What should I be doing? The nurse said stitches, and he thought I could massage it, but… I was nervous and decided to wait until we visited the Drs the next day.
And although that baby Elephant required knitting with 4 needles, I did not say I am not going to do this, I took up the needles and began….
The ride to the wound clinic was enlightening. In all the years I’ve been going to the cape I’d never driven to Sandwich through the roads we took, plus route 28 where I rode my bike for a few summers long…. Was totally changed. I was sad and awakened --- the cape as I knew it had changed. Had it been that long since I was down there--- traveling these roads -- yet yesterday’s memories are as strong as the days they were made --- my heart ached and I felt a knot twist in my mind and my heart because of the years that had passed. It was almost 33 years since the date my husband and I married. When we were first married we went to the cape quite often, but as our family grew we traveled there less, with work and a house full… there just wasn’t as much time… and suddenly it was 33 years later from then…
Mom was early to the drs and we waited. The patients at the clinic were different than her but the same. Special shoes, special dressings, wheelchairs, canes ---
The chairs in the exam rooms are similar to the ones at the dentist offices, large cushiony with the ability to go up and down, and side to side. No spit sink though which was good. The nurses were happy to see my mom, and when they took her bandage off,
I asked immediately, “What are those black things? Can I massage her foot? How does it look?” And I took out my camera and took pictures. The Feisty Foot was not the prettiest picture, but Mom said she couldn’t really see it, so I wanted to show it to her, and I ended up sharing the photos with all my brothers and sisters, why not? I would want to see.
Dr Shaun came in, Mom introduced me, as he poked and prodded at her foot. Mom didn’t wince too much. She did ask, “Do I still need a baby sitter.” To which Dr. Shaun replied, “Yes.”
I asked for a couple of stockinets so we could change the one she had, and they were supplied. “Next week.” said the Doc. “No Changes for the nurse, No PT.”
Mom insisted on going to Roche Brothers and then we went home. I read over the paper. “No standing on right leg” Keep up at least 30 minutes 5 times a day. No changes to visiting nurse, no pt.
Mom said, “If I don’t do stuff I am going to lose my ability to do stuff.” I said to Mom, “If you do not stay off that foot it is not going to heal. This is the time, not next week or the week after. You are just going to have to put up with me doing stuff for you and stay off the foot.”
Mom wasn’t happy but I was not going to just let her do what ever she wanted. That night I didn’t insist on massaging her foot. But I was going to start, and she was going to have to tolerate me taking care of her.
We knitted and talked and watched TV. My husband came down and we celebrated our anniversary. We took Mom to Job Lot where she strolled off with a carriage. My heart was pounding. We were only supposed to be looking at yarn. What if someone bops that leg? Arghhhhhhhh
After Job Lot Mom allowed us to drop her at home while my husband and I finished the shopping for lunch. Eyeyeye.
Well, later that afternoon, Mom threw me out. “Go home, John will be here.”
And so I went. I went home to cook and clean and shop and take the baby out… And then I returned to Mom and the baby Elephant that was giving me plenty of problems. I massaged Mom’s foot every night starting with it cold and white ending when it turned warm and just pink…
Tuesday, Mom baked while sitting in a chair, I was the assistant, just the lumper carrying things to the table and sink and stove and back again. Mom was happy.
The next day we went to the Drs. Mom brought some brownies with her and she was taken in right away. The girls were singing and giggling and giving Mom hugs. When they took the bandage off, I looked at it and I thought the hole was closed. But one nurse said to the other, “I’m going in.” I held my breath as they took a Qtip to the wound. “2cm,” she called out. I was disappointed. I really wanted that hole to be gone. But Mom took out her list, “copper bottom socks, (I still have to get her some), have you heard of them, can I wear them? Can I go to the heart Drs Appts? Can I get a flu shot, can I? DO I Still need a BABYSITTER?”
Dr. Shaun turned and looked right at me, “Yes, she does too much.”
I asked for some more stockinet and home we went. Mom was happy it had closed from 4 cm to 2 cm. But she still needed a baby sitter. My brother Kenney was next on the list.
Thursday, Mom and I searched the internet for patterns. We found a great one for a little chick and a cat for her to make Little Alan my nephew, her grandson. And I finally finished the baby Elephant that night as she slept.
Friday, I packed up my stuff, washed all the laundry and started the baby Chick. The chick’s math was incorrect. Mom helped me to figure it out. I worked on it, did more laundry and linens, and the day grew into the afternoon. Mom never asked what time I was leaving like every other time. This time she took the day as it was. At 3:30 I said I was going to massage her foot one last time and then I was going to go. All the linens were changed; I was all packed up….
I massaged her foot and we were quiet. I gave her a kiss and told her I was going to miss her and I left. Tears streamed down my cheek as I drove away. She couldn’t wave good bye at the door like she always did before the feisty hole.
It was as hard to leave her as it was to leave my baby daughter in the hospital when she was born and go home. I knew she was on the mend though, and I took the knitting I was working on with me.
My brother Kenny took over where I left off. He massaged Mom’s foot and cooked for her and took her shopping, and did just what she needed. He even fixed the drawer that I couldn’t figure out how it was broken.
Best of all ---- He took her to her visit with Dr Shaun. Mom brought brownies for the nurses and a hat she knitted for Dr. Shaun. Dr Shaun said he would wear it as he was going to Vermont. And with Kenny there, Dr. Shaun told Mom that she didn’t need a babysitter any more.
Today, just a few days later, I visited Mom with my oldest grandson in tow. Her foot looks great. She was baking on her own and she had her foot in its protective sponge and she was keeping it up.
I gave the feisty foot a great massage…. And Mom gave me her secret hat pattern…. as it happened that yesterday Little Ricky said to me, “Can’t you knit me a hat, right now? Before I go home. And I laughed, “I am no way near that fast.”
Today lucky us---- Johnny and I both got new knitted hats made the Grammy way.
Johnny’s is green and mine is blue. His goes perfect with his jacket and mine goes perfect with my postal sweatshirt. I heard my brother John got one too.
I am working on a hat now for Lil Ricky…
10/12/2009
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