Almost Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween. Have no energy. Oh well. Just broken hearted son coming out of his insanity. Drugs are evil

just going on

have no desire to go back an fix blogs posts that come off my phone, it is extremely difficult to post when you have no glasses on and you need them...or the glasses you own are not strong enough, and you refuse to up the correction because once you do you go up and up and up, eyes on drugs.  glasses

any way, they took him, im not sure what day because it is all a blur now, what a rough emotional week, lil r is here and not himself so i am sure he heard gossip some place, that's how little kids find out stuff that hurts, gossip---

so i am just dealing with it, happy he is not dead for the moment, but no phone call no anything...im just sad

going out to work on my garden and enjoy the fall weather.  it is just beautiful here
i love it

never mind the fact the my br is a jerk, i wont get into it, people just don't want to give up anything now a days.

Sleeve

Just a few days that I would live to expose my heart and not cover it up with other wishes or dreams or desires or fears but no one around me could stand me if I were to bare my soul do much pain

Can't sleep

The day has been long. Didn't do much. Stomach churning like electric. Nerves just shot wondering how much longer this is going to go on. Stress.

Happy Birthday

Johnny is 14 today.  We are having chocolate cake with chocolate twirls and pizza.... It is just a hard day.  Johnny is good...
R is not so good.  so sad.  I think he is on a trip to the never land forever.  it is so awful I am just miserable, to top it off my mom has the same fear about her own son, not her oldest but her youngest..it is just awful.

 

7 minutes

I have 7 minutes til I need to get up. It is Friday. This week has been long and torturous. My son is sick. If he doesn't kick it he will be dead. We cannot enable him any more. He has to make the choice. chaos reigns. S has a new job. Very difficult change. Mm is sick with a flu F vertigo. D political outrage. Haha and me just trying to keep the crew together. That is family a band of tuneless playing this game of life.
I'm still praying as pray is good. It should not be the last resort it should be always there. Prayer= allies. Because prayers combined stretch across the sky and infiltrate unseen. But I know they are there

Yup

Tears is all