a moment of alone time because i need it, i just do...
very sad...
Aunt Ruth died... 83 is a good life but she was sick for 12 years that is a long time...and my Dad well he has been gone as long so perhaps that is why the hole feels very vacant very sad... I barely saw my Aunt Ruthie but when I did she always told stories that made me laugh...and I remember when I was very young going to her house and they always had snakes, turtles and other creatures my cousins would collect and store on their porch and of course I would always hang out with them.... Then they moved to Scituate and we didnt see them much after that.... i dont know ---things change--- life goes on...let go let go let go....
none of my brothers showed up at the funeral, Jeanne and I and Mom of course and it was just too fn sad so many memories
my cousin Danny said he didnt realize that my Mom was from the old neighborhood, how little he really knows --- do they ever talk?
all my cousins have the white hair...they all have those blue eyes like my Nana and the family just looks so much the same and just older
another day will go by and then another and I wont see that side of my family again until there is a death at least that is the way it seems ..its been a dozen since Dad died.....it should never be that way.... it just shouldnt and i dont really give a damn what the rest of my family thinks, my brother and his wife are anti family snobs and some day it is going to hit them right in the face because something is going to come along that they wish they were invited to and they are not going to be invited because why invite those who think they are above the rest. that is not charitable but it is just the way i feel.
God Bless my god son Brain a great kid he give me hope
