Sunday

The cake is coming over today, we are going to see the Last Mimzy. I need a break. I am feeling ok, not the usual post op ... but swollen probably from all the iv fluids they pushed into me. arghh... just wish i could be normal back to the way things were 7years plus ago. .... frustrated with my own body, what could be worse. lots i suppose...

srr

after a horrendous week at work, i am out of there for approx 6 days...which will not be long enough. however... the surgery was a success or so it seems, although I don't remember saying anything to my dr or even seeing him after it was done.... it was done or so it seems as i had the worst pains i can ever remember and i said pain... and more than that i do think i was writhing for a bit and they put morphine in my iv... so that was that...except for the fact that I get nausea from the stuff, so ive been sick to my stomach for the rest of the day, never mind the dizziness because my blood pressure went down to 80 over 40 and they weren't going to let me go back home unless it rose...and it did to 100 over 48 ....and then they let me go home with the stipulation that i stay in bed and only get our to walk here or there so no emboli get me.

great now let us see what is going to happen...

r went to bw so i hope all else goes well... i am scared he is going to give up i am trying to have faith.

scheduled

woke up at 5:30 tried to sleep but fumbled about doing nothing, went back to sleep, now it is 9:20 my body is stiff from too much bed time... yesterday went well considering the morning mess...flooding etc. Monday will be a disaster that is all I can say.
I do not have the bub today. oh well. the meatball was thrown out of the place i drove him to on thursday, i picked him and his companion up, that meatball is his twin, came from the same bowl of grounded up ingredients that i dont know who concocted... there was nothing i could do. they said they are turning themselves into bw on monday. let us see as i dont believe them very stressfilled week and i am glad it is over.

dread

outside, it is light, but heavy,

snow, i hear your sister, rain hiding inside you
you are wonderful
what camouflage!
you look like fluff, but i know you are cement
please dont become slippery shoes

a miz, a mess, i dread the chore of cleaning you off--
snow
will be the wetness of my clothes
snow will guide the ride that will be like driving on
a skating rink.
everyone is talking about Easter, I just want to get through today and
next week
and be here convalescing.

disconnected

it is my first day off not being a Sunday that I have the baby, and my peace was interrupted by the meatball. yes that is what i am going to call him, because it is just like that song, on top of spaghetti...covered with cheese, i lost my poor meatball because somebody sneezed...

the kid just doesnt get it. and i'm just done.

and over that too.

bliss

simplicity, yes i like it, as i like this morning, this daylight savings time' morning, all is at rest here. and i've found bliss
i am lacking something in my day to day, solitude,
the quest for being together and being alone does not balance...

it is nearly 8:15, everyone is still in bed, i have made coffee, and accessed the situation -- mail and laundry are out of control....

I will establish a mail basket, all mail must be placed into it.

I will establish another laundry rule, the same one I established 30 years ago, no laundry downstairs, but it doesnt hold true. What I need is a laundry room up stairs and that is not happening either. So ... rules to make and be broken no doubt by all the inhabitants of the household....and visitors too, but why would they even know the rules.

it feels good to sit and ramble without a watcher, someone who asks what are you doing

what are you writing,

yes i lack privacy because my office still has the Christmas stuff out of the closet and on the floor, and other various things people decided to "store" in my office, because if i am not home they can just store what ever they like there, because there is so much stuff who knows who put what in there...

i hear a thumping... not a loud thump, but one nonetheless...a door closing, must be the bathroom...soon my solitude will be interrupted... and then i will have to explain all these thoughts...or maybe i wont, for my morning is now planned out, and no one even knows that... yet...perhaps they have plans of their own... the bub is coming today..he is such a love! time, it is a burden if you watch it. let it go